Great book, who knew?

I've been reading the Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin (hooray for free Kindle books) and have been surprised at how readable and enjoyable it is. It's a great book. It's easy to see how he became such a man of influence from such humble beginnings. It all came down to how he related to and treated people, his list of 13 virtues that he worked on developing everyday, hard work and frugality. Again, I'm surprised at how pleasant a read it is, pretty entertaining. Here's a few stand out notes that really made a difference in his life and what I think can make a difference in most lives. He worked to cultivate and perfect 13 virtues by focusing on one each week, but tracking how he did in each of them daily. The 13 Virtues are:
1. TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
2. SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
3. ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
4. RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
5. FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
6. INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
7. SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8. JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
9. MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10. CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.
11.TRANQUILITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
12. CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dulness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.
13. HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates. (I'm not all that familiar with Socrates, but apparently he's worth reading about)

Benjamin Franklin admitted he never became perfect in any one of these virtues, but said that trying to perfect them made him such a better man that it was worth the exercise anyway.

Another thing I thought an excellent idea was he formed a group of young people ( he was about 21 at this time) to get together once a week and discuss different political, societal, moral, philosophical or any other worthy point or question. The rules were: every member in his turn should produce one or more queries to be discussed in the company and once every three months produce an essay he wrote on any subject he chose. Queries to be discussed were stated the week before the actual discussion took place. Debates were under direction of a rotating president and were to be conducted in the 'sincere spirit of inquiry after truth, without fondness for dispute, or desire of victory and to prevent warmth, all expressions of positiveness in opinions or direct contradiction were . . . contraband (forbidden).' Breaking the rules carried a small monetary fine. I thought how great it would be to form a group like this today, if only I myself could abide by the rules. :) I'd definitely have to work on the 13 virtues first. In this day and age of slander and unbounded opinion spoken as fact for no other purpose often than to breed discontent, cause polarity and make another person or party look bad, what a refreshing and inspiring gathering something like this would be.

I also love that Benjamin Franklin was one of the foremost advocates for education of women. ( one of my favorite soap boxes, but that's another post)

He also ran a very successful printing press, but refused to ever print anything that libeled, slandered or was a personal attack on anyone. When solicited to print something like this on grounds of the freedom of press he told them he would print the piece separately and the author might have as many copies as he wanted to distribute himself, but he would not fill a newspaper intended to inform and improve society with personal malice, private altercations or degrading articles. How different our media would be today if media outlets practiced this same scruple. Granted I know it's a different time and many things have changed, but principles are principles and I wish more in the media used this approach. Maybe then I'd watch the news rather than just read the sentence blips of the 'In the World this Week' page of The Economist.

Although he had his faults, don't we all, I've come to appreciate more and more what a great statesman and an incredible example Benjamin Franklin is and I'm not even through with the book. I'm more inspired by this book and it's more entertaining than all the modern 'self-improvement' books I've read.(I know, dorky that I read those, but I do.) Definitely a recommended read!

Each day is a gift

. . that is why they call it the present. (Thank you Kung Fu Panda.)
On a more serious note, I've had countless reminders of how valuable each day is the last two weeks. Two of my neighbors lost their lives when a shed they were tearing down collapsed on them. A pilot my husband knew quite well had a flying accident that cost three lives, one of the lives a teenage boy who was best friends with my good friend's son. I was at a family gathering recently where all my husband's siblings were there and when it came time for family pictures, of course you have to do pictures because everyone was there, even I who didn't know my husband's sister who had passed away all that well felt how surface everyone's smile was as we all knew we weren't really all there. How much I take for granted each and everyday, because truly everyday you have to spend with loved ones is a gift.

My husband is a pilot. It's a little more risky than being say, an accountant, and even this last week when he was on the ground I think I would've rather he was in the sky flying because after flying his client to Laredo, Texas their legal and legitimate business trip took them across the Mexican border on one of the most dangerous stretches of highway in North and Central America from Laredo, TX to Monterrey, MX. Mexican police with M16s were everywhere, drug busts were happening as they were driving and even their Mexican escorts were a little concerned about safety, which may or may not explain why they were driving over 100 miles per hour. Luckily I didn't know all this until after the fact, but how relieved I am that everyone made it home safely. Oh yea, and how irritated I am that someone didn't plan better to nullify some of the risks, but it made me take a second thought of what life would be like without my husband: terrible, empty, unfulfilling, bland and sad. You never know when one day will be too late, risky endeavor or not.

These terrible reminders lately have made me more aware of how important it is to enjoy right here, right now. We're building a house right now and it's easy to get caught up in the details of paint colors, hardwood floors and decks and think when we're finally in that house we'll do this and that, maybe we'll go to the movies again, but how foolish. Going to the drive-in to watch Cars 2 with my two-year-old son is WAY more important than agonizing over re-figuring what my payment is with new 'upcharges'. If today were my last with my family I wouldn't care at all about that house! I wouldn't even think about if I got granite counter tops or what my house payment would be. (Granted financial responsibility is important, but you have to know me to know how overboard I can be in that realm.)

So on that note I want my family to know how awe-inspiring they are and how much I love and appreciate them. My parents are amazing. They sacrificed to much to give me everything that would give me every advantage. I'm so grateful for all they taught me by example and all I learned indirectly through the opportunities they gave me.

My brother and his family I love to death. My brother and I were pretty good friends growing up which was oh, so nice and now his wife is the best thing that ever happened to him and we love her dearly. She adds a whole new dimension to our quiet, reserved family, which is such a good thing! All my in-law siblings I love dearly as well. It's nice to have family you love grow exponentially overnight when you get married. My sisters-in-law have been the best sisters I could ask for. I really (truly!) enjoy hanging out with all my husband's siblings.

My husband is one of a kind. Our son's favorite movie of late is Tangled. I think it's partly because Flynn Rider is so much like the guy I dated, married and who is now his dad with the cheesy pick-up lines, his unabashed cockiness, his 'smolder' and his utter astonishment that all girls don't fall head over heels. A rebel facade with truly a good heart. Just like Flynn Rider eventually bought apples for his arch-nemisis, the horse Maximus, Sage has deigned to pet my dog. After miraculously being bought back to life I can just see Sage saying, 'Sarah have I ever told you I have a thing for brunettes?' Sage's sense of humor and his goodness bless my life everyday.

Sage is a man of many talents. He grew up a cowboy on a ranch in middle-of-nowhere Nevada. He had a stint as a wildland firefighter. He's a craftsman, building our own incredible cabinets for our new house and his day job is a pilot, but as cool as being akin to a cartoon character and being able to do just about anything are it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. What really matters is he would do anything for anybody to help them. My son and I can always depend on him to be there for us when it counts and he's so good to and for me. All my planning, perfect, clean craziness is mellowed out by him, which believe me, is a very good thing. The six years I've been married to him have truly been the most fun and best years of my life. He makes everything in life just that much better because he's so fun to be around and he has great perspective on what really matters. Plus it's just SO nice to know that whatever happens he'll always be there loving us and working hard to get whatever needs to happen done.

Of course there's my two-year old son who is sitting on my lap this moment driving his toy truck over the keyboard, so helpful. I've always liked kids but never been one of those girls who loved babysitting or even felt very comfortable with babies, but when our little man came into our lives I knew being his mom was my calling in life. He is such a joy. He reminds me most of all to enjoy the moment. He can spend hours throwing rocks in the ditch or waving the hose around and watching the water come out in wavy patterns. Wrestling with the dog gives him unbounded joy. He doesn't need new things or new clothes (or even clean clothes for that matter) to get a thrill and be happy. Going to the grocery store counts as an outing, granted I hate grocery shopping so we only go about every six weeks, so it really is kind of an event, but besides the point. He lives for now. He shows love to all those he loves unashamedly. You always know exactly where you stand with him and for the most part he loves life, appreciates all the beautiful, but everyday things like dandelions, and just has a blast doing whatever it is he finds to do. What he comes up with for entertainment is astonishing. What an example he is to me and he makes life so much fun.

I'm so lucky to have such great family and so lucky to have one more day to tell and show those around me how much I love them!