The Queen, so sad at the thought of relinquishing her throne

Once upon a time there was a girl who had known a good life for most of her life. Not to say there weren't rough spots, but for the most part she'd been pretty lucky and privileged. Upon graduating from college she married her dream cowboy and they settled in a cute little house that had been divided into 3 apartments. The bedroom and the living room were downstairs and the front door, kitchen and bathroom were upstairs. Yes, a little strange, but with her own flair she made it fit her and her husband's new life, despite the bathroom door being between the fridge and the stove. After a little over two years living in the housement (house/apartment/basement) her husband came home one day and said he'd found a new place to live, that it was very nice and right down the road from where he worked and much closer to where she worked. So taking him at his word she said OK and they decided to leave their cute little housement and it's severe no ventilation mold problem and moved on to something that, to her, was sight unseen, but had untold promise according to her husband. (Below is the housement.)

The new place was a single-wide trailer on the corner of a wheat field. Now living in a trailer house was not something she'd ever thought she'd do, but it didn't have tires on the roof, and in fact it was quite a lovely trailer as far as trailers go. It was pretty new and had been completely remodeled so the inside didn't even look like a trailer anymore. Life was good. They had their own place (albeit rented space), their own yard and they didn't have to hear the neighbors play video games all night, flush the toilet or a myriad of other noises no one should have to hear and guess what their neighbors were doing. They were content and she soon gladly accepted the title 'queen of the single-wide trailer'. Plus, they both loved being out of the city and on the corner of a wheat field. Alas, life was too good to last.

After about six weeks of bliss on the corner of the wheat field, the queen returned home from her dream job and there was a gentleman sitting in his car in the driveway. As she got out of her car the gentleman greeted her and said he was from Such-and-Such Bank and that the trailer was being repossessed. Lesson to everyone here is: Do NOT live in anything with wheels that can be towed away. But as this was happening the queen was thinking, 'WHAT? I signed a lease agreement. I pay my rent faithfully, seriously?!' Then she proceeded to explain to the gentlemen that she is merely renting this trailer from Mr. Landlord and shouldn't Mr. Landlord be the one discussing this? The banker informed her that Mr. Landlord does NOT in fact own the trailer, but the bank does. Hmmm. . . well what do you say to that? The queen and her cowboy were given two days to get all their worldly possessions out of home and find a new place to live. It was a sad day when Sea-foam (what the queen had dubbed their home due to it's color) was seen rolling down the road behind a semi, leaving a hole in the fence and tire tracks in the lawn. Again, it is NEVER recommended to live in anything with wheels.

If you've ever been shopping for a rental you know nice ones are hard to come by, especially when you only have two days until you are out on the street living in your car. After a few discussions with Mr. Landlord about the whole fiasco and why it all had happened (something that to this day the queen is not real clear on), Mr. Landlord apologized profusely and offered to let the queen and her cowboy live in his camp trailer while he bought a new single wide trailer to put on the corner of the wheat field. Without much option, the queen and her husband agreed to living in the camp trailer and put all their things in the shed behind their now long gone home and a snowmobile trailer. This camp trailer arrangement was to be only two weeks, but it stretched on and on to about eight weeks. Figuring on the two week time frame, all but two weeks of clothes and very minimal cooking utensils were buried deep within the snowmobile trailer. Now camp trailers do not have much storage space for anything, let alone food, and as mentioned cooking utensils were all but nonexistent so the queen (who cooks and eats relatively nutritiously most of the time) and her husband lived off frozen corn dogs, Ramen and cereal for eight weeks. Her diet in college wasn't even close to being that bad! YUCK!! To add insult to injury while living on corn dogs in a camp trailer whose shower was too small to wash your hair without whacking your funny bone on the wall, the queen wrecked her beloved Mariah, her cute, little, gold Honda Accord car. Life was looking kind of bleak, but THEN . . . Mr. Landlord said he found a 'new' trailer ( notice the qoutes around new) to fill the whole in the fence the trailer house had left behind. (Yes, the queen and her cowboy were living in a camp trailer in the driveway of a yard with a gaping hole in the fence where a trailer house used to stand. Classy! I know!!!) Delighted at the prospect of no more camp trailer nights with the probability of propane running out and freezing to death the queen and her cowboy went to look at the 'new' trailer before it was moved onto the corner of the wheat field. 'New' is in qoutes for a reason. It was nowhere near new - we're talking the stereotypical cat-lady-of-Kansas trailer (and her cowboy actually lived in Kansas for awhile so he really knew what he was talking about). The flooring was beyond disgusting, the cabinets were falling off the walls and the stove had dirty pots in the bottom drawer. Mr. Landlord knowing there was no comparison to the old trailer house explained he couldn't afford to buy a brand new trailer, but he could gut this and fix it up to look just like new. Again without better option, the queen and her cowboy agreed. However, Mr. Landlord had a pretty full schedule and remodeling cat-lady-of-Kansas trailer house wasn't that high on his priority list, even though the queen and her cowboy were freezing their hinnies off every night in the camp trailer.

The queen being the go-getter, take action kind of girl that she is and her husband the hard working, cowboy, handyman went to work and took the project on themselves with the agreement that Mr. Landlord would pay for the materials, appliances and their time. So the queen and her cowboy became the midnight construction crew. After work each night they'd paint, hang new cabinets, put new trim in and so forth until truly it was like new (almost) and livable. After lots of late nights, a hole being drilled in her cowboy's hand and quite a few oopsies they moved in with one bathtub still full of tile supplies, but there was another shower that wasn't made for midgets to use. HALLELUJAH!

It's been four years since that 'blessed' experience and the queen and her cowboy quite love their little home. There was a lot of blood, sweat and tears (literally) poured into that little place, and boy, they sure learned a lot doing it. It was pretty nice to make home improvement mistakes on someone else's dime. Now they know what NOT to do on their own home that they are searching diligently for this instant.

As exciting as moving on is, the queen will be very sad to relinquish her throne. Despite the rocky beginning there are many good memories in the little trailer and she LOVES living on her corner of the wheat field!

(This story is purely fiction and any similarities to persons living or dead are purely coincidental.) OK - just kidding. I'm the queen and this is the story of how I ended up where I am today. Sorry again, didn't have time to think through and formulate an educated, thought provoking, insightful post, so here you have it. :)

Luck or something more?

It seems frivolous and insensitive to me to write about normal life when so many people are suffering. I know there were many suffering people before, but the destruction and devastation I've seen in the last two weeks has brought it to the forefront of my mind. We don't watch TV in our home, partly because it's a huge waste of time and whenever I'm anywhere with TV access I can't find anything worth watching anyway and partly because I'm too dang cheap to pay for cable and even reception of local channels doesn't come in. This makes my family a lot more sheltered than most, but I do think it's important to stay informed and frankly I appreciate the quiet reprieve from the mind numbing barrage of negativity constant TV news brings. All besides the point, but from what I have seen, my heart just breaks for the people in Japan and Libya. I was thinking back on how many HUGE catastrophe's I've seen since I graduated from high school and maybe it's because I've become more aware as I got older, but it still seems like a disproportionate amount compared to the past.

It was the beginning of my high school Senior year when September 11th happened. I remember watching the second tower fall on TV as I ate breakfast. I remember my Dad saying before the 2nd plane hit that he had this sinking feeling that this was not an accident. I remember being hugely unnerved when I saw my hardened, retired, career military grandfather tear up as he spoke about what this could mean for our country. An attack on American soil hadn't happened since Pearl Harbor and this was a much different attack. Then most of the world was already embroiled in a terrible war. Pearl Harbor was a strategic ploy to pull America into it (and not an attack on the mainland). September 11th was a specific target against America's mainland for no other real reason than hatred for western ideology. Obviously there was probably more to it than that, but that's what I remember. I remember going to school and not doing much else besides watching the news unfold on TV. I remember my anger at my Economics teacher for saying that just because this happened didn't mean school should stop and she wouldn't let us watch it. I still think, 'how stupid was that'? It was Economics class for crying out loud. This was the World Trade Center and the financial heart of America we were talking about. Honestly, it's a wonder I love economics after surviving that teacher's disembowelment of such an awesome subject.

Then there was the huge tsunami that killed hundreds of thousands of people in Indonesia and other countries in 2004, Hurricane Katrina in 2005, another tsunami around Indonesia, the earthquake in Haiti, the earthquake in Chile and now what's going on in Japan. Plus the war in Iraq and Afghanistan and the atrocities that were commonplace there as well as in Darfur and Somalia and probably tons of places we don't even know of. Now we watch as the ruler in Libya is gunning down his own people in the streets.

I don't like to dwell on negativity and crisis. It only feeds the problem, but this week I found myself crying a lot out of empathy and sympathy for those in pain around the world and I'm usually not emotional at all. I wondered how I got so lucky. My whole family is still alive. My home is still intact. I went to my sister-in-law's baby shower today without a second thought. Why am I the lucky one? Why am I spared so much pain and heartache when so much of the world has seen so much trauma? Why am I lucky enough to be a third party observer? I definitely don't want it any other way, but seriously, why? Then I thought about even those not affected by war or natural disaster that are struggling with health or family crisis and again wondered how I got so lucky. My family is healthy and happy and I have so many other blessings.

Then a scarier thought came to me. Maybe I'm so lucky and so sheltered so I'll have the resources and skills to be able to help those who aren't as lucky, and I'm not just talking about sending money to the Red Cross or something like that. What if I've been so blessed so I have something to give that can help people get through stuff like this? I don't really know what I can feasibly do right now to help, besides the obvious give money to charity thing but something tells me lucky people like me will be needed in the future even more so than today. I'm not saying I have special talents or gifts or anything. I think this could apply to anyone, but it does make me want to do better in my daily life, in all aspects, now so when the time comes where my resources and talents are needed to help people in a small (or a big) way I'll be ready and able. And yes, I realize helping my friends and neighbors around me today in small ways is just as meaningful, but something inside tells me there may just be more to it than that.

P.S. Please don't take this as a dooms day prophecy from me. I'm not a dooms-dayer. I hate apocalyptic movies and anything that focuses more on destruction rather than hope. As much as I hate to see tragedies happen I am always amazed and inspired by the resiliency and the goodness of humanity that shines in the aftermath. We have many, many good days ahead. I'm just extremely grateful for my faith in Jesus Christ that helps me see that there are many wonderful days ahead through the haze of tragedy.
Every time I speak about Christ I think about my friends who have told me that you truly believe religion is the opiate for the masses and it's naivete. You know I respect your opinions and belief and I always appreciate that you have respected mine even though I know you think I'm crazy in that regard, but I can't, won't and don't believe faith in Jesus Christ is naivete, but even if it was I wonder how I'd get through seeing calamity like this without that faith. That faith is what's going to enable me to have the resources, skills and the presence of mind to help when and where I'm needed.

Just odds and ends.

Sorry, still no expose` on the Federal deficit yet. I know you're SO disappointed, but exciting news!! We actually put an offer in on a house. Yes, we're crazy. It was exactly one week after I started looking at homes with a realtor that we put an offer in. It's a lovely home and a short sale. It makes me very sad for the people who have to sell it and puts a human face on the usually cutthroat realty business, but also means a screaming deal for us (thus the very quick decision to put an offer in). Short sales are apparently kind of complicated (I'm learning tons about the realty biz through this whole process) because not only do the sellers have to accept our offer, but the bank who holds their mortgage does too. The sellers have accepted our offer and we're waiting to hear from the bank. Banks are notoriously slow at letting you know on this stuff so our genius realtor structured our offer so we can keep looking for a home we like better in the meantime and not be out anything if we decide to withdraw our current offer or the bank doesn't accept it. So there you have it. I never thought it would all happen this fast and it's far from a done deal, but still I feel like I need to take a deep breath.

Other odds and ends. A few 'ah-has' I've gleaned over the last two weeks I thought I'd share:

1. When contemplating doing something that I'm just not sure about doing I should ALWAYS go play outside with my doggy before deciding. I always come in with a much clearer and kinder view of the world. Yep. I did something I regret this week, but hopefully all is well.

2. The best way to 'know' Jesus Christ is to actually strive live like Him. I'm always seeking to 'know' Him better and draw closer to Him by reading and learning about His life, but actually living like Him will bring me much closer.
If you didn't know, I'm pretty religious and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (aka a Mormon). To those of you who are also religious this may sound like a no-brainer, but for me it was a good enlightenment. Even though I think I knew it in my head, I just didn't know it in my heart. Also points back to point #1 - another good thing to think about before doing something you're just not sure about is the good old cliche` 'what would Jesus do,' of course. :)

3. Be open to all situations in life. It's only when you're open to everything life has to offer do you really find yourself and your true passion.

4. Make small daily decisions based on the Easter egg hunt 'hot or cold' philosophy. 'Hot' is what you love, bringing you closer to your passion and goals and 'cold' is taking you farther from them. So make HOT decisions, even if they're seemingly tiny decisions.

5. Kind of repetitive of 3 & 4: “Remain open and follow the path as it comes to you. Listen to the things you love. Being present now and living your best in the moment opens the doorway to those greater long term goals.. . You have to stay open and move into that unknown, uncomfortable space and confront your fears.” I LOVE the bold part!

Thoughts 3, 4 and 5 were came from an interview I heard with Jillian Michaels, the Biggest Loser coach. I've never seen the show, but from the interview I heard she's a pretty amazing lady.

6. “Find yourself in the Free Fall of life.” -Mel Robbins

7. I've always had a strong belief in a loving God who really has a hand in our lives and wants to help us if we let him; and I've always kind of thought that He has this exact, perfect, individual plan laid out for each us and everything will go accordingly if we just try to follow His will. I'm not so sure of the exact, individual, perfect plan thing anymore. I'm now leaning toward the idea that the Lord doesn't necessarily have an exact plan laid out for each of our lives (maybe, but not always.) I now think we definitely create our own path. He may nudge us in certain directions and help us make decisions, but we create our own path. He has that much confidence in us. He knows we can and we will do great things by making our own way and asking for His help along that way.

8. “21st Century skills may help pupils become better workers, but learning history makes them better citizens.” (21st Century skills refers to math, science and technology.)
From The Economist, an article on education and how history is not a valued, tested core subject. I'm a history lover so am a little partial, but I really think this is so true.

That's about it for this week. Sorry I waxed a little philosophical and religious there, but I'm becoming more comfortable with this sharing thing as I blog. I haven't convinced myself 'sharing' is altogether a great thing yet, but I'm realizing more how much other people care and want to be part of my life. Typically, I'm a pretty private person and only share my thoughts and life with my close family and my bestest of friends, but I find blogging is opening me up. I originally had intended to just write about opinion, educational, current event type stuff, but am finding myself writing more and more about me, partly because I committed to writing once a week and I just haven't had the time to think through and write a good post on anything else. But maybe this more accessible, personal stuff is a good thing. I still have the privacy/internet paranoia (Yes. I'm crazy. I know.) which is why you'll never see any contact or traceable information or pictures of my family on this blog (unless I make it private or something) but again I'm just more open than I was 3 weeks ago, weird. . .