Luck or something more?

It seems frivolous and insensitive to me to write about normal life when so many people are suffering. I know there were many suffering people before, but the destruction and devastation I've seen in the last two weeks has brought it to the forefront of my mind. We don't watch TV in our home, partly because it's a huge waste of time and whenever I'm anywhere with TV access I can't find anything worth watching anyway and partly because I'm too dang cheap to pay for cable and even reception of local channels doesn't come in. This makes my family a lot more sheltered than most, but I do think it's important to stay informed and frankly I appreciate the quiet reprieve from the mind numbing barrage of negativity constant TV news brings. All besides the point, but from what I have seen, my heart just breaks for the people in Japan and Libya. I was thinking back on how many HUGE catastrophe's I've seen since I graduated from high school and maybe it's because I've become more aware as I got older, but it still seems like a disproportionate amount compared to the past.

It was the beginning of my high school Senior year when September 11th happened. I remember watching the second tower fall on TV as I ate breakfast. I remember my Dad saying before the 2nd plane hit that he had this sinking feeling that this was not an accident. I remember being hugely unnerved when I saw my hardened, retired, career military grandfather tear up as he spoke about what this could mean for our country. An attack on American soil hadn't happened since Pearl Harbor and this was a much different attack. Then most of the world was already embroiled in a terrible war. Pearl Harbor was a strategic ploy to pull America into it (and not an attack on the mainland). September 11th was a specific target against America's mainland for no other real reason than hatred for western ideology. Obviously there was probably more to it than that, but that's what I remember. I remember going to school and not doing much else besides watching the news unfold on TV. I remember my anger at my Economics teacher for saying that just because this happened didn't mean school should stop and she wouldn't let us watch it. I still think, 'how stupid was that'? It was Economics class for crying out loud. This was the World Trade Center and the financial heart of America we were talking about. Honestly, it's a wonder I love economics after surviving that teacher's disembowelment of such an awesome subject.

Then there was the huge tsunami that killed hundreds of thousands of people in Indonesia and other countries in 2004, Hurricane Katrina in 2005, another tsunami around Indonesia, the earthquake in Haiti, the earthquake in Chile and now what's going on in Japan. Plus the war in Iraq and Afghanistan and the atrocities that were commonplace there as well as in Darfur and Somalia and probably tons of places we don't even know of. Now we watch as the ruler in Libya is gunning down his own people in the streets.

I don't like to dwell on negativity and crisis. It only feeds the problem, but this week I found myself crying a lot out of empathy and sympathy for those in pain around the world and I'm usually not emotional at all. I wondered how I got so lucky. My whole family is still alive. My home is still intact. I went to my sister-in-law's baby shower today without a second thought. Why am I the lucky one? Why am I spared so much pain and heartache when so much of the world has seen so much trauma? Why am I lucky enough to be a third party observer? I definitely don't want it any other way, but seriously, why? Then I thought about even those not affected by war or natural disaster that are struggling with health or family crisis and again wondered how I got so lucky. My family is healthy and happy and I have so many other blessings.

Then a scarier thought came to me. Maybe I'm so lucky and so sheltered so I'll have the resources and skills to be able to help those who aren't as lucky, and I'm not just talking about sending money to the Red Cross or something like that. What if I've been so blessed so I have something to give that can help people get through stuff like this? I don't really know what I can feasibly do right now to help, besides the obvious give money to charity thing but something tells me lucky people like me will be needed in the future even more so than today. I'm not saying I have special talents or gifts or anything. I think this could apply to anyone, but it does make me want to do better in my daily life, in all aspects, now so when the time comes where my resources and talents are needed to help people in a small (or a big) way I'll be ready and able. And yes, I realize helping my friends and neighbors around me today in small ways is just as meaningful, but something inside tells me there may just be more to it than that.

P.S. Please don't take this as a dooms day prophecy from me. I'm not a dooms-dayer. I hate apocalyptic movies and anything that focuses more on destruction rather than hope. As much as I hate to see tragedies happen I am always amazed and inspired by the resiliency and the goodness of humanity that shines in the aftermath. We have many, many good days ahead. I'm just extremely grateful for my faith in Jesus Christ that helps me see that there are many wonderful days ahead through the haze of tragedy.
Every time I speak about Christ I think about my friends who have told me that you truly believe religion is the opiate for the masses and it's naivete. You know I respect your opinions and belief and I always appreciate that you have respected mine even though I know you think I'm crazy in that regard, but I can't, won't and don't believe faith in Jesus Christ is naivete, but even if it was I wonder how I'd get through seeing calamity like this without that faith. That faith is what's going to enable me to have the resources, skills and the presence of mind to help when and where I'm needed.