Everything (of value) I know I learned from my horse.

I watched Secretariat today as I ironed and it made me remember what an impact great horses can have on lives. That's me and my boy Shwin. Short for Gershwin, as in the 'Rhapsody in Blue' composer, George. (I was into piano performance too.) Shwin and I spent a lot of time together. We competed all over Utah, Idaho and Wyoming. We won some, we lost some, we drove a lot of miles and everyday I rode.

That's been almost 10 years ago. I miss my boy. I sold him after my first year of college to a great home down the street from my favorite vet because I didn't have time to ride anymore with college, work and life. I didn't want to (or knew I couldn't) make horses a career and I couldn't afford to pay for his upkeep after I was off my parent's meal ticket. It broke my heart. It was the right decision, but I still miss him and I miss riding and working with horses everyday.

Before Shwin there was Ranger and Irish. My parents bought Ranger for me when I was eight, he was chronically lame so he was meat price, inexpensive, and his lameness was relatively treatable. I was only eight. I wasn't going to ride that hard. I remember riding Ranger through the sprinklers bareback in my swimsuit. He was a good pony and kind. My parents sacrificed to buy him. They got paper routes to pay for his boarding expenses because we still lived in the city. How grateful I am for their sacrifices that allowed me to have horses, because there were a lot. Sometimes my mom called my horses 'couch' or 'curtains' or something because paying for them meant she didn't get new furniture. Anyway, I learned all the basics on Ranger. Later when I moved on to other horses I taught other kids riding lessons on him. He died of old age after I'd been at college out of state for a few months. My mom called to tell me and I cried and cried. I'm sure my roommates thought I was crazy to be so grief stricken over the death of a horse. In fact, when one of them finally got the courage to ask me what was wrong, they thought one of my grandparents had died.

Then there was Irish. Irish is a whole other story. She has more personality that any other horse I've known. She still lives at my parents house and is just as funny today as she was when I got her as a five-year-old. I was eleven and a little tiny girl. Irish was five, didn't have much training besides being broke to ride, and she was big and strong. I was run away with everyday for months. When she got tired of working, she'd duck her head, ripe the reins out of my hands and take off. We didn't have an arena so I rode and worked in the flattest place I could find, which was FAR from level. There was nothing to stop her from running for miles, if she took a notion. I didn't know how to stop her, so I just tried to stay on her back until she got tired and most of the time succeeded.

Irish taught me true grit and really how to work with a horse, help them want to do what you wanted them to and teach them new things. She wasn't the most talented of ponies, but she loved her job and I had so much fun riding her. Other parents were sometimes appalled that my mom let me keep riding such a 'dangerous' horse because she did have a serious attitude problem at times, but she never would have intentionally hurt anyone and man she taught me to ride. I've never been afraid to climb on any horse, anywhere, to do anything because if I could stick with Irish through all those years I could ride anything. She taught me more than any other horse, or person for that matter.

There was Star Dust in the mix too. I was given this little Shetland pony that hadn't been ridden in years. I didn't have a saddle that fit such a little, broad beast so I worked with her bareback all summer. I got her rideable and nice again, broke her bad habit of snaking her head around and biting rider's toes then sold her to the neighbor kids. She was SOOOO cute.

When I was a junior in high school I got Shwin. He was an amazingly talented horse, but still pretty inexperienced. He had been a race horse before I got him and people said he had a screw loose and some said he was dangerous, but I never saw the dangerous side of him. (Apparently I rode a lot of 'dangerous' horses. It's a wonder I'm alive.) As long as you were fair to him, didn't ask him to do what you hadn't thoroughly taught him and were clear about what you wanted he was a big sweet heart and took me a long way. He's one of those horses you know you'll never be able to get a horse quite that good again. He was amazing.
I rode a lot of other horses too. I worked at two barns while I was in high school grooming, mucking stalls and warming up horses for trainers . . and riding all the other horses the trainers didn't want to take the time to ride.

So what have horses taught me?
-To be authentic.
Animals can see right through any charade you're putting on. You've got to be 100% honest about what you can and can't do, what you have and haven't worked on and what you really want.

-To work hard and enjoy the ride even when you feel like you're at a disadvantage.
I competed against a lot of other riders who had 'made' horses (horses that were trained by professionals from the day they were born) and those riders hopped on their push-button ponies on show day and rode. I did all the work and training on my own horses, with some lessons and clinics, but my horses were never ridden regularly by professional trainers. I got the horses we could afford, not something imported from Europe. (Seriously, some people really did buy the best trained, best blood lines and most talented horses in Europe and had them shipped to the U.S.) And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. I learned to love horses for the horse, not for the win. I learned to work my behind off day in and day out to make up for any disadvantage and relish in the triumph of little daily victories. (YES!!! We finally nailed that canter depart!)

-What works when dealing with one horse (or person) may not be the same thing that works when dealing with someone else.
Of course, the basics are still the same (in the human realm:common courtesy, kindess, compassion, honesty, integrity, fairness) but sometimes you have to ask for things differently or communicate and explain things differently to different people (or horses).

-Take 100% responsibility for your own life.
The best riding instructor I ever had (my mom) told me NOTHING is EVER the horse's fault. Everything that is happening, whether good or bad, is because of something you're doing as a rider or because of something you have or haven't trained your horse to do. Failure is NEVER the horse's (or anyone else's) fault. Thanks to that, I've always known that whatever is going on in my life is because of me, and I better fess up, take responsibility for it and work to change it if I don't like it or it's not working.

-There is such thing as luck, roll with the punches.
I love to ride horses any way, any how from jumping on my rodeo friends' barrel and pole ponies to pushing cows to riding a Dressage or Reining pattern. All disciplines have very cool aspects and can teach you a lot about riding, but what I competed in most was Combined Training. The competition was over two or three days and competitors rode the same horse in three very different events. Your score was an aggregate of all your rides. You could do extremely well on the first day riding your Dressage pattern (basically dancing for horses), make it through Cross Country clean(jumping 'natural' solid obstacles in a natural field setting with a time limit. Go pony, go!), and be the first one out in show jumping (jumping brightly colored fences in a tight pattern in an arena, also timed) have a slip in a hidden muddy spot that causes your horse, as he's going over the fence, to barely nick the top rail with his hoof. The rail falls, costing you everything. It doesn't matter how well you prepared, how well you ride, sometimes stuff happens. Live with it.

-Confidence is key. It will carry you and others through.
Riding jumping horses takes some guts. Jumps are sometimes designed to look scary to horses (and riders for that matter). If your confidence is wavering in how well you've set your horse up to jump a certain fence, your horse feels it and most often slams on the brakes at the last minute, skidding to a stop at the base of the fence and sending you flying over his ears and over (or into) the fence. Not fun! You've got to believe in yourself and have confidence in your abilities if not only for yourself, but to pull those around you through.

-Don't take things personally. Don't get so emotionally invested in things others do or say.
When my Irish horse ran away with me day after day as a little girl it wasn't because she hated me or thought I was a terrible rider. She did it because she was tired of what we were doing and frankly she could. There was no use in feeling bad or picked on. Set aside your emotions and just deal with the problem.

-Sometimes people do unfair things and can be serious jerks. Persevere.
I was involved in a national organization that rated riders on their riding ability and on veterinary and other horsey knowledge. Part of these ratings were riding tests and then there was 4-6 hours of oral knowledge tests. This is where I learned to think and speak on my feet and never be afraid of public speaking or presenting. But anyway, in one of these ratings there was some unfair things going on and the national examiners who had flown in to do the test were just serious jerks. There was three of us that got shafted two years in a row. I was BENT! I had invested a ton of time and work into preparing for this, traveled two states away, and spent a lot of money to get there. I could deal with being shafted once, but two years in a row? I actually yelled and swore at the examiner after it was all over, which is pretty out-of-character for me. It was so blatantly unfair that another national examiner, unrelated to any of the three of us, was there as an observer and raised a ruckus that got some things changed for us later. It was a defining moment in my life. Do I throw in the towel because other people are jerks or do I try again because it's one of my goals and what I wanted? Luckily Irish had taught me true grit and to never give up.

-Take care of and maintain what you have, whatever that might be.
My horses and tack were not the fanciest, but I was taught to take really good care of them and it paid off. We rarely had a vet bill and with elbow grease my ponies and tack looked just as great as their expensive counterparts. I got compliments on how well my horses were 'turned out' all the time, even from people who didn't really know horses. It drives me crazy when people don't do their best to maintain and take care of what they have, whether it's a car, a yard or whatever. It's a responsibility thing to me and also just plain dumb not too. Maintaining is far cheaper and easier than replacing.

-Not to swear. :) Mostly this is just a funny story, but it is bad to swear . . .
One day Irish and I were having a bit of a fight and I called her a little b****. My mom heard me and was already mad at me for not dealing with my horse better anyway. She told me to get off, 'right this instant' and that she was selling my horse if this was how I behaved. I knew she was serious because she told others there that Irish was for sale. Well, I was probably thirteen at the time and I sobbed and sobbed and apologized and promised to never act that way or swear again (which I haven't exactly done, but I try) and my mom didn't sell my horse, but the emotional trauma of it all made me physically sick and we ended up missing a family reunion, my mom's family reunion actually. If I was mean and vindictive I'd say, "Serves you right, Mom." But I'm not so I'll just say, "Thanks for teaching me not to swear and deal with problems effectively."

I truly think, it's not just a saying, that most of what I've learned that has helped me the most in life I learned from or because of my horses. Thank you Mom and Dad for giving me the opportunity to learn, ride and love!

Shwinny, first place. Pegasus Horse Trial.

Shwin, Show Jumping at Gold Spike Horse Trials. Got in a little deep to that fence, but you can see just how dang scopey this pony was.

Us hanging at home. Wish I had pictures of him running cross country. He was incredibly fun to ride, bold and fast. Too bad I don't have pictures of my other ponies here either (most are still at my parent's house in scrapbooks in boxes in the basement doing everyone so much good and taking up space . . . maybe that's why I don't scrapbook.)