Share your views

I wrote the majority of this post a week or so ago and didn't post it because I always hesitate to get involved in the political debacles and debates that become so inflamed and in the end do no good and just make people mad, but that wasn't my intent at all.

I wrote this mostly for myself to separate in my mind what I really thought and believed from the dogma and rhetoric fed to me by family, friends and the media. It was amazing to me as I really considered a few things to realize that what I really felt was actually different than what I'd been assuming were my view points. It was a rewarding endeavor and I'm going to post this in hopes that it doesn't inflame. I'm not seeking to change anyone's opinions or beliefs, nor am I seeking affirmation that my views are correct. What I'd really like is for people to REALLY consider their own opinions, listen to others' and have their minds opened to another view point rather than just clustering down in defense behind the barracks of dogma that's been fed to them. I believe you can respect and understand another without agreeing. I'd love to read similar posts from my friends regarding their views so I too can better understand where others, especially those who don't share my same views are coming from. I'm no political scientist or super informed news junky and as you'll see in several areas I'm not at a definite conclusion, yet. (Another reason I'd love to hear other view points, to help me reach a conclusion.) I'm just a layman American citizen who thinks it's important to think for yourself and this is where I'm coming from.


National Debt and the current debate:
From what I've heard I don't feel that either the Dems. or the GOP have plans that are either real or sustainable. I'm all for a small government, but slashing government expenditures to the lowest levels since Eisenhower courts serious risks, especially for an economy on an already rocky recovery road, but I don't like tax increases either. I'm still deciding if I'm OK with big, successful business and rich Americans shelling out to cover tax increases. (I don't think I'm OK with it at all actually, but am trying to grasp at a feasible solution to the problem) The capitalist in me feels like that's a punishment for success and will stunt economic growth long term too. Definitely tough choices, but I think a balanced approach between the two party's agendas will truly be the best choice which is why I'm grateful for the Gang of Six. Not that I love or agree with everything I've heard about their plan, but to me it's the better alternative to the gridlock. I also think defaulting because either party is too prideful or prejudiced to concede a little is incredibly and insanely selfish. I think defaulting carries serious short and long term economic risks.

In the end the Dems are going to have to swallow cuts to their dear entitlement programs and the GOP is going to have to deal with tax increases, the end.

Welfare (the government provided sort) in General:
I have to tell this story because it's just so absurdly, but sadly, funny to me. I was talking to someone about politics and they were professing how Republican and Conservative they were, decrying everything Pres. Obama has done and ever will do and tooting their horn for Tea-Party Republicanism. Then in the next sentence they were telling me how great government programs are, that Medicare is so much better than paying for private insurance, you can get so much free stuff through WIC and it's too bad Food Stamps have a time limit on the program. SERIOUSLY?!! That nullified any credibility they had in their previous arguments. I'm not implying every Conservative or Tea Party Republican is like this, but it's just an example of how blind our prejudices can be.

Back to the welfare question. I really have to swallow hard on this one to choke back the economist, free-market, capitalist advocate in me. In a perfect world we wouldn't need welfare. People would see the needs of their neighbors and through their own efforts, or through the efforts of religious or civic groups they would help out. Unfortunately we're not a perfect world and I do see the need for government programs to help the disadvantaged, under-privileged and those who have just been dealt a bad hand and need help getting back on their feet. BUT I do think that the majority of the programs in place today do a very poor job at all of the above. They breed dependency and are severely abused. I recognize how tough these programs would be to reform, but to me that's no excuse for letting programs that bleed a country's finances dry and don't do a whole lot of good stand as is.

Along these same lines I read a comment from a respected friend of mine the other day that said, 'charity before economics' in regards to the debt talks. Honestly, that scared me to death and, as I understood it, is illogical and unsustainable. I know as a Christian that sounds terrible that I'd be so afraid of an approach that put charity first. In an individual's life charity before economics is the best approach, but not in the running of a business or a country. A country has to have funds to provide any charitable service. With a charity before economics approach soon the hand dealing the hand-outs will be empty with nothing to give. Very unsustainable. I'm hoping I just misunderstood my friend's intent and meaning.

Gay Marriage:
I stand conservative on this one!! Gay Marriage should NOT be legalized in my view. I feel traditional families (married Mom, Dad and kids) are the bedrock of a healthy society. I think any attempt to legalize and therefore imply to society that the gay lifestyle is normal and acceptable will be severely damaging long term. BUT I have several gay friends and I honestly don't think, like many of my ultra-conservative friends, that having gay attractions is a conscience 'choice' for most gays. Acting on those attractions and living the lifestyle is a conscience choice which veers quite far from my moral compass. (Yes, to me it's morally wrong.) BUT many gay people whether they act on those inclinations or not are still wonderful, good, contributing members of society so I do support domestic partner benefits etc. and obviously I think gays should be treated as civilly and kindly as anyone else.

While we're on the subject, Don't Ask, Don't Tell:
Tough call. I don't like the idea of my husband, brother or son serving in an openly gay military environment - that's for sure! But I'm not sure Don't Ask, Don't Tell was Constitutional and although I'm not thrilled with the repeal, I understand it. I feel it was a little discriminatory. I wouldn't like it, if to serve my country I had to hide something I felt was part of who I am (as I think most gays feel). To me, it's more of a moral issue than a government/military issue which makes it tricky. Morals and government decrees don't often mix well (along the lines of separation of church and state). I'm still a little up in the air on this one. I definitely see both sides and honestly don't know that repeal will change functionality in the military a whole lot anyway.

2nd Amendment, Right to Bear Arms:
I believe an armed public is a safe public. I see the point that law-abiding, sane citizens should be able to have as a big a gun as their crazy criminal counterparts, yet America does have a significantly higher murder rate than other first-world countries with tighter gun laws so there is definitely more to this, but I'll probably always stand firm for the Second Amendment. I think often in people's zeal to defend the 2nd Amendment the 4th Amendment, which guards against unwarranted searches, seizures and suspicions, is overlooked which to me is equally as important.

Illegal Immigration:
Have you ever been to Mexico? I mean the non-touristy parts. I have so much compassion for those people and understand why they'd risk everything to cross the border. It's illegal, which is wrong, yes, but is it more wrong than staying in a town where the drug lords are demanding your sister as a prostitute? That's a true story of one of my Dad's friends who's family illegally crossed the border probably 30 years ago when he was a child and conditions in Mexico have only deteriorated. That child who came in with his family as an illegal immigrant sought citizenship and is now a very successful, contributing member of society. I support an approach that allows illegals to work toward becoming legal without immediate expulsion, but don't necessarily believe in 'free' amnesty. I in no way condone illegal behavior, but I really feel for these people and know it's a tough political question. I think it's a crying shame that the Dream Act failed.

Abortion:
I do NOT support legal abortion. Pro-choice to me is poor excuse. I think the choice to run the risk of getting pregnant was made when she slept with him so please don't take an innocent life in defense of personal choice to avoid consequence. There's always concessions though. I do support abortion in cases of rape, incest or other VERY select instances. Abortion as a form of birth control is a moral abomination to me, a moral concern that affects others through no choice or fault of their own and degrades society to an extent that I do feel the government has as much a right (and obligation) to be involved and prevent it as they do for prosecuting those that take innocent lives in other ways.

Wars:
I hate war. I hate the atrocities, the suffering, the heartbreak at home, everything about it, but do I think it's worth fighting sometimes? Yes. When Libya's president started gunning his own people down in the streets something needed to be done by any country who professed to defend freedom and human rights. Reading A Thousand Splendid Suns (by the same man who wrote The Kite Runner) made me feel a little differently about Afghanistan too. I don't like that the U.S. has become embroiled in a incredibly long, tough and seemingly unwinnable conflict, but I think there has been some good accomplished in Afghanistan by our troops and there had to be some kind of defensive mounted against terrorism. I only hope the withdrawal plan isn't too hasty to undermine that good, although I admit to wanting our troops home safe. The war in Iraq I honestly don't know enough about to form an opinion. From what I do know, it seems like a conflict over something that wasn't even there in the first place and has simply served as a fiscal drain, but again I don't know very much and I understand everything in the Middle East is far more intertwined than appears at first glance.

I do recognize that there are other human rights atrocities just as severe (if not more so) in the world as Libya and Afghanistan where the U.S. isn't involved. The resources to be used in defense of freedom and human rights are finite and battles have to picked and chosen (usually picked with economics in mind, which honestly I can't fault too heartily from a purely logical standpoint). I guess I see both sides to the war debate and need to be little more informed to take a real side.

Those are a smattering of the things I've been thinking about as the presidential field begins to solidify. I hope that I haven't incited too much riot and like I said I'd love to hear your views. Along with criticism though, I like to hear solutions. Personally I think if you're going to spend the time to criticize and nitpick everything that's wrong with one party's plan, you better spend the time to come up with a better solution. Most discussions among citizens I've seen seem to be all criticism with few solutions. It's interesting how that appears to be the same matter of course in Washington. Food for thought, our elected officials may 'represent' us as a people in many more ways than we've considered. I'd propose we curb the criticism and blame of either side in Washington and change the way we lead our own discussions and lives. Just a thought. I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Great book, who knew?

I've been reading the Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin (hooray for free Kindle books) and have been surprised at how readable and enjoyable it is. It's a great book. It's easy to see how he became such a man of influence from such humble beginnings. It all came down to how he related to and treated people, his list of 13 virtues that he worked on developing everyday, hard work and frugality. Again, I'm surprised at how pleasant a read it is, pretty entertaining. Here's a few stand out notes that really made a difference in his life and what I think can make a difference in most lives. He worked to cultivate and perfect 13 virtues by focusing on one each week, but tracking how he did in each of them daily. The 13 Virtues are:
1. TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
2. SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
3. ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
4. RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
5. FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
6. INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
7. SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8. JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
9. MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10. CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.
11.TRANQUILITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
12. CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dulness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.
13. HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates. (I'm not all that familiar with Socrates, but apparently he's worth reading about)

Benjamin Franklin admitted he never became perfect in any one of these virtues, but said that trying to perfect them made him such a better man that it was worth the exercise anyway.

Another thing I thought an excellent idea was he formed a group of young people ( he was about 21 at this time) to get together once a week and discuss different political, societal, moral, philosophical or any other worthy point or question. The rules were: every member in his turn should produce one or more queries to be discussed in the company and once every three months produce an essay he wrote on any subject he chose. Queries to be discussed were stated the week before the actual discussion took place. Debates were under direction of a rotating president and were to be conducted in the 'sincere spirit of inquiry after truth, without fondness for dispute, or desire of victory and to prevent warmth, all expressions of positiveness in opinions or direct contradiction were . . . contraband (forbidden).' Breaking the rules carried a small monetary fine. I thought how great it would be to form a group like this today, if only I myself could abide by the rules. :) I'd definitely have to work on the 13 virtues first. In this day and age of slander and unbounded opinion spoken as fact for no other purpose often than to breed discontent, cause polarity and make another person or party look bad, what a refreshing and inspiring gathering something like this would be.

I also love that Benjamin Franklin was one of the foremost advocates for education of women. ( one of my favorite soap boxes, but that's another post)

He also ran a very successful printing press, but refused to ever print anything that libeled, slandered or was a personal attack on anyone. When solicited to print something like this on grounds of the freedom of press he told them he would print the piece separately and the author might have as many copies as he wanted to distribute himself, but he would not fill a newspaper intended to inform and improve society with personal malice, private altercations or degrading articles. How different our media would be today if media outlets practiced this same scruple. Granted I know it's a different time and many things have changed, but principles are principles and I wish more in the media used this approach. Maybe then I'd watch the news rather than just read the sentence blips of the 'In the World this Week' page of The Economist.

Although he had his faults, don't we all, I've come to appreciate more and more what a great statesman and an incredible example Benjamin Franklin is and I'm not even through with the book. I'm more inspired by this book and it's more entertaining than all the modern 'self-improvement' books I've read.(I know, dorky that I read those, but I do.) Definitely a recommended read!

Each day is a gift

. . that is why they call it the present. (Thank you Kung Fu Panda.)
On a more serious note, I've had countless reminders of how valuable each day is the last two weeks. Two of my neighbors lost their lives when a shed they were tearing down collapsed on them. A pilot my husband knew quite well had a flying accident that cost three lives, one of the lives a teenage boy who was best friends with my good friend's son. I was at a family gathering recently where all my husband's siblings were there and when it came time for family pictures, of course you have to do pictures because everyone was there, even I who didn't know my husband's sister who had passed away all that well felt how surface everyone's smile was as we all knew we weren't really all there. How much I take for granted each and everyday, because truly everyday you have to spend with loved ones is a gift.

My husband is a pilot. It's a little more risky than being say, an accountant, and even this last week when he was on the ground I think I would've rather he was in the sky flying because after flying his client to Laredo, Texas their legal and legitimate business trip took them across the Mexican border on one of the most dangerous stretches of highway in North and Central America from Laredo, TX to Monterrey, MX. Mexican police with M16s were everywhere, drug busts were happening as they were driving and even their Mexican escorts were a little concerned about safety, which may or may not explain why they were driving over 100 miles per hour. Luckily I didn't know all this until after the fact, but how relieved I am that everyone made it home safely. Oh yea, and how irritated I am that someone didn't plan better to nullify some of the risks, but it made me take a second thought of what life would be like without my husband: terrible, empty, unfulfilling, bland and sad. You never know when one day will be too late, risky endeavor or not.

These terrible reminders lately have made me more aware of how important it is to enjoy right here, right now. We're building a house right now and it's easy to get caught up in the details of paint colors, hardwood floors and decks and think when we're finally in that house we'll do this and that, maybe we'll go to the movies again, but how foolish. Going to the drive-in to watch Cars 2 with my two-year-old son is WAY more important than agonizing over re-figuring what my payment is with new 'upcharges'. If today were my last with my family I wouldn't care at all about that house! I wouldn't even think about if I got granite counter tops or what my house payment would be. (Granted financial responsibility is important, but you have to know me to know how overboard I can be in that realm.)

So on that note I want my family to know how awe-inspiring they are and how much I love and appreciate them. My parents are amazing. They sacrificed to much to give me everything that would give me every advantage. I'm so grateful for all they taught me by example and all I learned indirectly through the opportunities they gave me.

My brother and his family I love to death. My brother and I were pretty good friends growing up which was oh, so nice and now his wife is the best thing that ever happened to him and we love her dearly. She adds a whole new dimension to our quiet, reserved family, which is such a good thing! All my in-law siblings I love dearly as well. It's nice to have family you love grow exponentially overnight when you get married. My sisters-in-law have been the best sisters I could ask for. I really (truly!) enjoy hanging out with all my husband's siblings.

My husband is one of a kind. Our son's favorite movie of late is Tangled. I think it's partly because Flynn Rider is so much like the guy I dated, married and who is now his dad with the cheesy pick-up lines, his unabashed cockiness, his 'smolder' and his utter astonishment that all girls don't fall head over heels. A rebel facade with truly a good heart. Just like Flynn Rider eventually bought apples for his arch-nemisis, the horse Maximus, Sage has deigned to pet my dog. After miraculously being bought back to life I can just see Sage saying, 'Sarah have I ever told you I have a thing for brunettes?' Sage's sense of humor and his goodness bless my life everyday.

Sage is a man of many talents. He grew up a cowboy on a ranch in middle-of-nowhere Nevada. He had a stint as a wildland firefighter. He's a craftsman, building our own incredible cabinets for our new house and his day job is a pilot, but as cool as being akin to a cartoon character and being able to do just about anything are it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. What really matters is he would do anything for anybody to help them. My son and I can always depend on him to be there for us when it counts and he's so good to and for me. All my planning, perfect, clean craziness is mellowed out by him, which believe me, is a very good thing. The six years I've been married to him have truly been the most fun and best years of my life. He makes everything in life just that much better because he's so fun to be around and he has great perspective on what really matters. Plus it's just SO nice to know that whatever happens he'll always be there loving us and working hard to get whatever needs to happen done.

Of course there's my two-year old son who is sitting on my lap this moment driving his toy truck over the keyboard, so helpful. I've always liked kids but never been one of those girls who loved babysitting or even felt very comfortable with babies, but when our little man came into our lives I knew being his mom was my calling in life. He is such a joy. He reminds me most of all to enjoy the moment. He can spend hours throwing rocks in the ditch or waving the hose around and watching the water come out in wavy patterns. Wrestling with the dog gives him unbounded joy. He doesn't need new things or new clothes (or even clean clothes for that matter) to get a thrill and be happy. Going to the grocery store counts as an outing, granted I hate grocery shopping so we only go about every six weeks, so it really is kind of an event, but besides the point. He lives for now. He shows love to all those he loves unashamedly. You always know exactly where you stand with him and for the most part he loves life, appreciates all the beautiful, but everyday things like dandelions, and just has a blast doing whatever it is he finds to do. What he comes up with for entertainment is astonishing. What an example he is to me and he makes life so much fun.

I'm so lucky to have such great family and so lucky to have one more day to tell and show those around me how much I love them!

Everything (of value) I know I learned from my horse.

I watched Secretariat today as I ironed and it made me remember what an impact great horses can have on lives. That's me and my boy Shwin. Short for Gershwin, as in the 'Rhapsody in Blue' composer, George. (I was into piano performance too.) Shwin and I spent a lot of time together. We competed all over Utah, Idaho and Wyoming. We won some, we lost some, we drove a lot of miles and everyday I rode.

That's been almost 10 years ago. I miss my boy. I sold him after my first year of college to a great home down the street from my favorite vet because I didn't have time to ride anymore with college, work and life. I didn't want to (or knew I couldn't) make horses a career and I couldn't afford to pay for his upkeep after I was off my parent's meal ticket. It broke my heart. It was the right decision, but I still miss him and I miss riding and working with horses everyday.

Before Shwin there was Ranger and Irish. My parents bought Ranger for me when I was eight, he was chronically lame so he was meat price, inexpensive, and his lameness was relatively treatable. I was only eight. I wasn't going to ride that hard. I remember riding Ranger through the sprinklers bareback in my swimsuit. He was a good pony and kind. My parents sacrificed to buy him. They got paper routes to pay for his boarding expenses because we still lived in the city. How grateful I am for their sacrifices that allowed me to have horses, because there were a lot. Sometimes my mom called my horses 'couch' or 'curtains' or something because paying for them meant she didn't get new furniture. Anyway, I learned all the basics on Ranger. Later when I moved on to other horses I taught other kids riding lessons on him. He died of old age after I'd been at college out of state for a few months. My mom called to tell me and I cried and cried. I'm sure my roommates thought I was crazy to be so grief stricken over the death of a horse. In fact, when one of them finally got the courage to ask me what was wrong, they thought one of my grandparents had died.

Then there was Irish. Irish is a whole other story. She has more personality that any other horse I've known. She still lives at my parents house and is just as funny today as she was when I got her as a five-year-old. I was eleven and a little tiny girl. Irish was five, didn't have much training besides being broke to ride, and she was big and strong. I was run away with everyday for months. When she got tired of working, she'd duck her head, ripe the reins out of my hands and take off. We didn't have an arena so I rode and worked in the flattest place I could find, which was FAR from level. There was nothing to stop her from running for miles, if she took a notion. I didn't know how to stop her, so I just tried to stay on her back until she got tired and most of the time succeeded.

Irish taught me true grit and really how to work with a horse, help them want to do what you wanted them to and teach them new things. She wasn't the most talented of ponies, but she loved her job and I had so much fun riding her. Other parents were sometimes appalled that my mom let me keep riding such a 'dangerous' horse because she did have a serious attitude problem at times, but she never would have intentionally hurt anyone and man she taught me to ride. I've never been afraid to climb on any horse, anywhere, to do anything because if I could stick with Irish through all those years I could ride anything. She taught me more than any other horse, or person for that matter.

There was Star Dust in the mix too. I was given this little Shetland pony that hadn't been ridden in years. I didn't have a saddle that fit such a little, broad beast so I worked with her bareback all summer. I got her rideable and nice again, broke her bad habit of snaking her head around and biting rider's toes then sold her to the neighbor kids. She was SOOOO cute.

When I was a junior in high school I got Shwin. He was an amazingly talented horse, but still pretty inexperienced. He had been a race horse before I got him and people said he had a screw loose and some said he was dangerous, but I never saw the dangerous side of him. (Apparently I rode a lot of 'dangerous' horses. It's a wonder I'm alive.) As long as you were fair to him, didn't ask him to do what you hadn't thoroughly taught him and were clear about what you wanted he was a big sweet heart and took me a long way. He's one of those horses you know you'll never be able to get a horse quite that good again. He was amazing.
I rode a lot of other horses too. I worked at two barns while I was in high school grooming, mucking stalls and warming up horses for trainers . . and riding all the other horses the trainers didn't want to take the time to ride.

So what have horses taught me?
-To be authentic.
Animals can see right through any charade you're putting on. You've got to be 100% honest about what you can and can't do, what you have and haven't worked on and what you really want.

-To work hard and enjoy the ride even when you feel like you're at a disadvantage.
I competed against a lot of other riders who had 'made' horses (horses that were trained by professionals from the day they were born) and those riders hopped on their push-button ponies on show day and rode. I did all the work and training on my own horses, with some lessons and clinics, but my horses were never ridden regularly by professional trainers. I got the horses we could afford, not something imported from Europe. (Seriously, some people really did buy the best trained, best blood lines and most talented horses in Europe and had them shipped to the U.S.) And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. I learned to love horses for the horse, not for the win. I learned to work my behind off day in and day out to make up for any disadvantage and relish in the triumph of little daily victories. (YES!!! We finally nailed that canter depart!)

-What works when dealing with one horse (or person) may not be the same thing that works when dealing with someone else.
Of course, the basics are still the same (in the human realm:common courtesy, kindess, compassion, honesty, integrity, fairness) but sometimes you have to ask for things differently or communicate and explain things differently to different people (or horses).

-Take 100% responsibility for your own life.
The best riding instructor I ever had (my mom) told me NOTHING is EVER the horse's fault. Everything that is happening, whether good or bad, is because of something you're doing as a rider or because of something you have or haven't trained your horse to do. Failure is NEVER the horse's (or anyone else's) fault. Thanks to that, I've always known that whatever is going on in my life is because of me, and I better fess up, take responsibility for it and work to change it if I don't like it or it's not working.

-There is such thing as luck, roll with the punches.
I love to ride horses any way, any how from jumping on my rodeo friends' barrel and pole ponies to pushing cows to riding a Dressage or Reining pattern. All disciplines have very cool aspects and can teach you a lot about riding, but what I competed in most was Combined Training. The competition was over two or three days and competitors rode the same horse in three very different events. Your score was an aggregate of all your rides. You could do extremely well on the first day riding your Dressage pattern (basically dancing for horses), make it through Cross Country clean(jumping 'natural' solid obstacles in a natural field setting with a time limit. Go pony, go!), and be the first one out in show jumping (jumping brightly colored fences in a tight pattern in an arena, also timed) have a slip in a hidden muddy spot that causes your horse, as he's going over the fence, to barely nick the top rail with his hoof. The rail falls, costing you everything. It doesn't matter how well you prepared, how well you ride, sometimes stuff happens. Live with it.

-Confidence is key. It will carry you and others through.
Riding jumping horses takes some guts. Jumps are sometimes designed to look scary to horses (and riders for that matter). If your confidence is wavering in how well you've set your horse up to jump a certain fence, your horse feels it and most often slams on the brakes at the last minute, skidding to a stop at the base of the fence and sending you flying over his ears and over (or into) the fence. Not fun! You've got to believe in yourself and have confidence in your abilities if not only for yourself, but to pull those around you through.

-Don't take things personally. Don't get so emotionally invested in things others do or say.
When my Irish horse ran away with me day after day as a little girl it wasn't because she hated me or thought I was a terrible rider. She did it because she was tired of what we were doing and frankly she could. There was no use in feeling bad or picked on. Set aside your emotions and just deal with the problem.

-Sometimes people do unfair things and can be serious jerks. Persevere.
I was involved in a national organization that rated riders on their riding ability and on veterinary and other horsey knowledge. Part of these ratings were riding tests and then there was 4-6 hours of oral knowledge tests. This is where I learned to think and speak on my feet and never be afraid of public speaking or presenting. But anyway, in one of these ratings there was some unfair things going on and the national examiners who had flown in to do the test were just serious jerks. There was three of us that got shafted two years in a row. I was BENT! I had invested a ton of time and work into preparing for this, traveled two states away, and spent a lot of money to get there. I could deal with being shafted once, but two years in a row? I actually yelled and swore at the examiner after it was all over, which is pretty out-of-character for me. It was so blatantly unfair that another national examiner, unrelated to any of the three of us, was there as an observer and raised a ruckus that got some things changed for us later. It was a defining moment in my life. Do I throw in the towel because other people are jerks or do I try again because it's one of my goals and what I wanted? Luckily Irish had taught me true grit and to never give up.

-Take care of and maintain what you have, whatever that might be.
My horses and tack were not the fanciest, but I was taught to take really good care of them and it paid off. We rarely had a vet bill and with elbow grease my ponies and tack looked just as great as their expensive counterparts. I got compliments on how well my horses were 'turned out' all the time, even from people who didn't really know horses. It drives me crazy when people don't do their best to maintain and take care of what they have, whether it's a car, a yard or whatever. It's a responsibility thing to me and also just plain dumb not too. Maintaining is far cheaper and easier than replacing.

-Not to swear. :) Mostly this is just a funny story, but it is bad to swear . . .
One day Irish and I were having a bit of a fight and I called her a little b****. My mom heard me and was already mad at me for not dealing with my horse better anyway. She told me to get off, 'right this instant' and that she was selling my horse if this was how I behaved. I knew she was serious because she told others there that Irish was for sale. Well, I was probably thirteen at the time and I sobbed and sobbed and apologized and promised to never act that way or swear again (which I haven't exactly done, but I try) and my mom didn't sell my horse, but the emotional trauma of it all made me physically sick and we ended up missing a family reunion, my mom's family reunion actually. If I was mean and vindictive I'd say, "Serves you right, Mom." But I'm not so I'll just say, "Thanks for teaching me not to swear and deal with problems effectively."

I truly think, it's not just a saying, that most of what I've learned that has helped me the most in life I learned from or because of my horses. Thank you Mom and Dad for giving me the opportunity to learn, ride and love!

Shwinny, first place. Pegasus Horse Trial.

Shwin, Show Jumping at Gold Spike Horse Trials. Got in a little deep to that fence, but you can see just how dang scopey this pony was.

Us hanging at home. Wish I had pictures of him running cross country. He was incredibly fun to ride, bold and fast. Too bad I don't have pictures of my other ponies here either (most are still at my parent's house in scrapbooks in boxes in the basement doing everyone so much good and taking up space . . . maybe that's why I don't scrapbook.)

An Ode to Full-time Moms

Funny thing. I never thought I'd be one to write something like this. I was raised in a culture and religion that is very family focused and promotes 'traditional' family values. In addition to these traditions I was blessed with very forward thinking, high achieving women as role models in my family. Before it was commonplace, my grandmothers and great-grandmothers were going to college and finding work. My grandmother graduated from college and left rural Utah to work as a secretary in San Francisco, something that wasn't quite status-qou in those days. My great-grandmother also had a college degree and taught school to support her family after her husband died. My mother, although always being home when us kids were home, taught Math and Economics at the local college while we were in school and has continued to teach college level courses for 15 years. These women loved their families and were always there for them, but it wasn't the only thing in life, although I'm sure they'd all say it was the most important thing. Getting married and having babies wasn't taught as an end-all, be-all...THANK HEAVENS that was not how I was raised.

The women in my family were strong, talented, skilled women and did make it very well in the career place, but they made the choice to devote most of their time to their family. So I'm not sure why I felt this way and am very scared to admit this, but I found deep down inside I didn't quite appreciate or respect the stay-at-home-moms of today. I had this stereotype in my mind of the girl who didn't have bigger plans for her life, that got married because she didn't see any other option, and her only goals in life were to have lots of babies (because what else was she going to do) and watch reality TV. Terrible, I know!!! and again I don't know what predisposed me to think this, but I did and I'm finally forcing myself to come to terms with it.

So here's how I fit into all this. I went to college on full scholarship, did very well, had a great internship and good opportunities. I was very blessed. I met a guy I loved and he loved me back, but he hesitated to propose to me because he wondered if I'd choose career over him. I didn't, and never would have, but looking back I see why he would've thought this. In my perspective, getting married may or may not have happened. I hoped he'd ask me, but I was way to proud and a traditionalist to ask him, so I figured I had better continue to set myself up for good career opportunities and live my life moving forward until something of firm commitment made me realign those plans. Not to say either of us ever thought getting married would cost me a career, but I was filling out job applications to move to Brazil or Washington D.C. or go to grad school in the Mid-West, stuff like that, and if there was no commitment from him, why should I put my life on hold and miss out on those opportunities? Now there's probably two schools of thought going on with you readers. You're either thinking: 'You moron. Why didn't you move to Brazil?' Or 'You are the biggest jerk ever, I can't believe he married you after you acted like that.' I definitely see both points and probably could've handled that time in my life a little better, but nonetheless lucky for me he did ask (a week before I graduated from college and really started pursuing those avenues) and thus I opted to stay in good old Idaho with him.

I worked for the USDA for a little while, using my degree. Then, as is typical with lower level government jobs, funding ran out and I was laid off. I had a stint as a bank teller, not quite the career path I wanted so luckily for whatever reason I was perusing the paper one day ( I never read the paper) and came across a job with what was one of my 'big 5' companies, one of the companies that in college I had pinpointed as who I really wanted to work for. I applied, got that job and quickly moved through several positions there and was doing exactly what I went to school to do and loved it, plus had tons of growth opportunity. I was happily married and had my career path. I had it all.

After four years of being married we decided to have a baby. I love kids, I do, but I've never been baby crazy and was a terrible babysitter. This was a whole new ball game for me, but when my little guy was born I know I'd move mountains to do what was best for him. My job and boss were incredibly awesome and I took three months off before I went back to work, plus they let me take him to work with me. Again, win-win!! He started to get older, old enough where he didn't just sleep all the time and it got harder and harder. I had to make a decision. I started shopping day-cares because not only did I love my job, my husband's job wasn't super stable and if I didn't have a job we didn't have health insurance. I literally got sick to my stomach every time I walked into a day care and thought of leaving my son there. I couldn't do it, no way, no how, never. We were just going to have to make things work.

That was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made. Even though I knew I could never take my son to day care the thought of giving up what I'd worked so hard for in college and so far in my career, plus leaving my friends, my income, my insurance, my challenge, and what was a huge part of my life that I really loved was gut wrenching. I'm so glad I did it though! Sure there's days where I wish I had something other to do than read the same stories a million times, do laundry and throw rocks in the creek for hours, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I have a new perspective on full-time moms. I know not everyone has the luxury of staying home with their kids and I also recognize that it may not be the right choice for everyone, but to those who to take care of home, kids and everything else in life full-time with no monetary compensation, thank you for your sacrifice! I've come to realize many full-time moms have just as ambitious goals as our career counterparts. I just keep adding to my ambitious goal list and you know what, I have way more freedom and time to work on my goals now than when I was working full time. And garaunteed, if we're doing a good job taking care of home, kids and life we work long hours . . .and we don't get insurance or pay, we just get self-satisfaction and lots of love.

The other day I was struggling and thinking about how I needed to do better. I started reviewing all the success principles I'd learned in my career that helped me. One of them was: 80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts, so you better make sure you're spending your time in high value tasks rather than the minutia, ensuring you get to that 20% of result producing work. Along with this was the learned skill to make sure what you deem high value activities are the same activities your boss deems high value. I got thinking I needed to make sure I was spending my time in high value activities because there was no way I was going to get everything done. (Those full-time moms that say they're bored, I have no idea how that happens!) Anyway, What I did get done had to matter and I just wasn't sure what was the highest value. So who was my boss? Who could I check with to make sure what I deemed as high value tasks were really high value tasks. Like I said earlier, I was raised in a religion were family is very central and important, but this wonderful Ah-ha came to me: God is my boss. All of us our God's children. I'm a steward as a mom and wife, doing my best to take care of at least two of his children, my husband and son. So God would know and care what is high value and what's the mindless details of life. As God's 'employee' he has vested interest in my work and success. And who better to have rooting for you, on your side and as a mentor and coach than God and our Savior Jesus Christ? It is a totally weird way to think of it, but it helped me appreciate my role as a full-time mom and realize how vitally important what I(and every other full-time mom who tries her best)does each and everyday is in the grand scheme of things. In fact, I think I'll count becoming a full-time mom as a promotion. I work directly for the biggest boss of them all. :)


Here's a short summary of how my religion (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) feels about the family.http://lds.org/family/proclamation?lang=eng I'm not trying to be preachy, just a little background on where I'm coming from with all this, so you don't think I'm completely crazy! :)

THINK!

It's been a month since I last posted. Failure on my weekly post goal . . . I do have a bit of an excuse since my computer died, ca-put, dead, finitoed. 'Twas a sad day and functioning without a computer was a bit of an adjustment. I almost had to lick a stamp and put a bill in the mail and balance my own checkbook. Plus all the random things I just want to know, the ones that no one really should care about, but bug me for a few minutes until I know the answer or forget about them, I could't instantly access the answer. It was slightly annoying not to have limitless information at my finger tips. I also realized how much time I waste on the computer. We don't get TV at our house so I figured I was relatively safe from media time sucks . .. NOT TRUE!! All the mindless emails that are of no worth that I still read, why? And don't get me started on Facebook. I like Facebook. It's a great way to keep in touch with and connect with people I otherwise wouldn't. I do like to see what my friends and family are up to, but let's be honest, most of what is posted on Facebook is really not worth the second it takes to read. Granted there are some posts that are thought provoking, and like I said, I do like to see the pictures and the legitimate updates on people's lives, but I'm pretty sure I won't miss any of that if I give up my twice-a-day check habit, but I'm pretty grateful to have a computer again.

I've read a lot recently that has made me think and had lots of ideas on what to post. Everything from the article in National Geographic on child brides (tragic and disgusting!!) to the bright side of high fuel prices ( shorter supply chains bringing plants and manufacturing home to the States is becoming more appealing, thus possibly creating jobs) and lots of other things, but I recently read an article that was less esoteric and decided I'd write something a little more relatable.

I grew up in a very functional family that had it's fair share of dysfunctional moments and I've had good enough role models to know that when you have a problem, you ARE the problem. It's no one else's fault and even when someone else does have a role it's relatively futile to expect someone else to change. You are the one that's got to change your perspective. Much easier said than done. I've heard the old 'fake it until you make it' advice, but I don't agree with it, nor do I actually think it works. It just entangles you more into a web of pretending your reality is different than it really is and (I think) sets you up for bigger issues down the road.

So really how do you combat the little issues you wish were different in your life when they happen? I've found that taking the time to think through what you're trying to work out really helps. Duh, I know, but stay with me. If you take the time to think, I've found you usually know the answer to what's going to help you, you just may not have pin-pointed it or have the plan or gumption to act on that answer. I know that sounds obvious, but I'm continuously amazed at how many people do not take the time to think!!! They're just always reacting to whatever life hands them rather than thinking through a better way. Don't dwell on the problem, but think it through until you've come up with the heart of the issue and formulate a plan of action to remedy it. (I always need to write while I'm thinking or my mind wanders.)

Here's an example: I love my husband. He's the best ever. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there's no one else in the world that is more perfect to and for me than he is, but lately I'm just irritated. (No offense honey!) I don't really know why. There's a few little superficial things I wish were different, but I'm sure there's a million little things he wishes were different about me. He probably wishes I'd do my hair more than one day a week and was nicer and not irritated, and didn't have a dog, and didn't obsess over a clean house, and didn't make vegetarian meals 3 days a week, and would be part of the network marketing company he works for, and talked to him rather than read my Kindle, and didn't turn the electric blanket on in June, and that I'd wear my contacts rather than glasses all the time, plus about a biscillion other things, but he's not irritated with me, or at least I don't know he is. I took the time to think about it this morning.

Of course I knew this was my own issue, but I still was at a road block of how to get over it until I took the time to think. An amazing ah-ha came: If I take the time and put in the effort to make my husband happy (even if it means wearing contacts, being nice and doing my hair - a high price! :) and make sure he feels loved that will help further all our other goals and will remedy the other things that bug me, even if the remedy is I just get over IT!

I realize I don't seem like the sharpest tool in the shed since I had to have focused thinking time to come up with this realization, but it's just an example of the road blocks we create for ourselves when we don't take the time to address a problem when it starts, think through it and formulate a plan of action to change what we don't like. My plan of action is simple, and I already knew the answer once I stopped being irritated and started to think about it. I'm going to make a focused effort to talk to Sage when he comes home rather than keep on cooking dinner and entertaining the kid. I'm going to plan at least 2 date nights a month (even though finding babysitters is a HUGE pain) and I'm going to consider every morning one way I can make him happy. Nothing big, nothing extraordinary, but I bet it makes the difference in me tolerating my marriage to remembering what an awesome guy I'm hitched to.

But really, stop checking Facebook twice a day take the time to think your own thoughts. I mean other thoughts than, 'maybe I should try Coke Zero, so-and-so (according to Facebook) loves it'. It really can work wonders!

(I realize the irony that I'll probably post this on facebook. Hopefully it's of more worth than someone's soda preference though. . .)







*If you care: Here's the link to the article that made me want to write something relatable. I actually found this in my email and read it after I had started my plan to improve my own marriage - funny how once you start thinking about something and really trying to solve a problem you're inundated with solutions. This guy is like Stephen Covey on steroids, super achiever, success expert and he wrote this about a good date gone bad with his wife. http://darrenhardy.success.com/2011/05/right-or-happy/

My Favorite Books

1. The Robe - Lloyd C. Douglas. A fictional story of the Roman soldier who crucified Christ. After the crucifixion he realizes there's something special about the man he was ordered to kill and starts a quest to find truth and bring peace to himself.

2. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte. The story of an ill-fated love and a strong willed woman who refuses to compromise her values for anything.

3. Uncle Tom's Cabin - Harriet Beecher Stowe. Details a slave's life as he is forced to leave his family and is traded between masters, some good and kind others brutal. Uncle Tom never becomes callous, hardened or looses his belief in the good of mankind, despite his ill-treatment.

4. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen. A comedy portraying the ridiculousness of silly women and the institution of marriage. All the ridiculousness is redeemed by a smart girl who bucks the traditions of society and finds her true love.

5. Anne of Green Gables- L.M. Montgomery. What can I say, a chick-flick classic. Love it. A red-headed, accident prone orphan with a wild imagination's attempt to grow up.

6. Gone with the Wind - Margaret Mitchell. I love history, especially the Civil War, but other than that I'm not sure why I love this book. Scarlett is a manipulative, spoiled witch of a woman, but does show she has some fight and gumption when her back is against the wall as she fights her way out of poverty induced by Sherman's March. And of course, there's Rhett who is the ill-used, dreamy, bad boy.

7. Killer Angels - Michael Shaara. Historical fiction detailing the battle of Gettysburg as told by generals on both the Confederate and Union side. Historically accurate and an entertaining, page-turning read, even to those who aren't Civil War buffs.

I love reading and am always finding new books that I like, but this list stands the test of time and I read them over and over.

My recent find that doesn't come near to making the list, but is still a great read is A Year of Living Biblically, A.J. Jacobs. It's written by an agnostic, modern-day, New Yorker of Jewish heritage. He always figured with more information, discoveries and technology religion would just fade away, but as he noticed, it hasn't. He wanted to find out why people aren't letting go of religion in this neo-enlightenment age so he tries to live EVERY rule in the Bible as literally as possible to see what he's missing or to confirm to himself that the religious half of the world that believes in the Bible is delusional. Very funny as he literally lives the rules of don't shave your beard, stone adulterers and the like. It made me think about my beliefs and why I believe the things I do, but gave me lots of laughs along the way.

Rising Inequality: why policy may not help all that much

Rising financial inequality is a concern, especially in America. Many studies show that when income disparity rises other social ills follow (everything from a higher murder rate to a lower life expectancy.) We've seen it in the revolutions in the Arab world recently. Societies without relative social mobility, who have a high income disparity cause social problems and can eventually breed revolutions. America over time has become more and more divided. Just take a look at Pres. Obama's '08 campaign. One of his most popular and supported mantras was 'wealth redistribution'. Admittedly, the verbage and sentiment behind that mantra made the free-market capitalist in me queasy. (I don't subscribe to the Robin Hood philosophy of take from the rich, give to the poor.) But it is a problem that needs to be addressed.

There was not a single year between 1952 and 1986 when the richest 1% of American households earned more than a tenth of the national income. After rising steadily since the 80s, in 2007 the richest 1% of Americans made 18.3% of all the national income. America's median income is now only half the mean. That's a large increase in disparity over a short time and it's only getting worse. But why has the disparity been rising so rapidly?

In the 80s technological progress caused an increased demand for skilled workers, and led to widening of the gap between the wages of skilled employees and the rest of the workforce. That trend has only been amplified as technological advances continue to sky rocket. It's not just the technology fields that have been transformed and are hungry for highly skilled workers. Because technology has has changed the way we store, process and utilize information, skilled, educated, brainy workers are at a premium in every field.

The huge premium on brains in this era leads to educated, skilled workers being compensated at a much higher level. In 1991 the average wage for a male American worker with a bachelor's degree was 2.5 times that of a high-school drop out, now the ratio is 3. Again education and cognitive skills are at a premium, but America has free public education, loads of government assistance available for higher education and is a land of opportunity (yes, I firmly believe that), so why the drastic increase in disparity? Because those highly valued cognitive skills are being unevenly distributed due some other outside factors, factors that are hard, if not impossible to address by tax code, government policy, welfare or public education overhaul.

In 1970 only 9% of those with bachelor's degrees in America were women. Now the numbers of men and women with bachelor's degrees are roughly equal. In 1970 most men married uneducated women, because their options were slim. In today's society clever well- educated men usually tend to marry clever well-educated women. Their children have the advantage of being predisposed to getting 'clever genes'. Parents with degrees are far more likely to raise children who earn degrees than non-graduates. Also educated parents typically earn more, use a larger vocabulary when they talk to their kids, prod them to do their homework and read to them more. Plus, they are more likely to be able to afford private schools or to live in a place with good public ones. 'In America, residential segregation is extreme. The best schools are filled with college hopefuls and the worst have metal detectors. Education reform would obviously help, but it can't completely level the playing field.'

Skilled, educated women have made immense strides in the workforce. 34% of all American lawyers today are women as compared to 5% in 1970. Our glass ceiling is much higher now and the fight for respect isn't nearly as tough, but with skilled smart women doing so much better in the work force (and being fairly compensated for it) it raises the opportunity cost of having kids. "The opportunity costs of child rearing are far more for a woman who earns $200,000 a year compared to one who greets customers at Walmart." (Disclaimer: The Economist's words not mine.) The lifetime fertility rate for American high school dropouts is 2.4, for women with advanced degrees it's only 1.6.

Plus, raising smart educated children is expensive. As a parent with a college education who hopes your child will have the same opportunity you have to think about funding. 'A lawyer couple can easily afford to put one child through Yale, but perhaps not four.'

Bottom line: Smart educated people usually earn more. They marry each other and are more likely to provide their children with the encouragement, education and funding to also be smart, educated high earners. But due to opportunity costs, there are fewer of these 'high earner' children. Kids with the benefits of good education and clever genes are fewer in number than their less advantaged counterparts, making the demand and the price the market is willing to pay for these brains much higher, leading to more people at the bottom and fewer making more at the top. A pretty tough situation to combat with any type of policy.

So what can we do to prevent a plutocracy and years down the road a potential revolution? Keep in mind that in America the rising disparity is not because the poor have done worse over the last decade or so (they've actually been doing better). It's just the rich are doing SO much better the disparity is more significant. The old philosophy of boosting growth and combating poverty is still a much better one than 'redistributing wealth'. The best option is to find ways to increase social mobility. Governments need to focus more on pushing up the bottom and middle than dragging down the top. Education investment and reform addressing the teacher's unions that have stopped poorer America from getting a good education is a starting point. A renewed commitment to reducing global trade barriers would also be helpful. 'Nothing boosts competition and loosens social barriers better than freer commerce.' In the global market place of today there's never been more opportunities for success . . .if citizens are educated and prepared to take advantage of them and governments have removed the the rigged rules and subsidies that favor specific industries or insiders.

Even if these measures were put in place, the social changes giving continued advantage to the clever and already well off would probably continue. So truly there's only one fail safe way to increase social mobility and that's from the inside out. I love this qoute. It's in a religious context, but could be applied secularly. "The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature." - Ezra Taft Benson, LDS Church President 1989 and former US Secretary of Ag.

We've got to find a way to reach the disadvantaged and help them help themselves whether it's via faith or education or some other means. The barriers to social mobility have to be removed, but even removing those barriers does not automatically help people better themselves. They have to have a desire instilled, a belief in themselves, on top of the necessary skills, to really go out and make a difference for themselves and for society. That's something that can't be done with any sort of social reform or program. That's a one-on-one thing that each of us can help with by being positive, offering help, maybe being a mentor, and most of all expressing our belief to others that their current situations do NOT determine who they are or their worth as a person ( we truly are ALL children of God). Let's be mindful of those around us and how we can help them become their best.

Facts and quotes in this post are from a special report from the January 22-28, 2011 edition of The Economist, "The Rich and the Rest."

The Old West still exists . . .

. . . and it's not as cool or romantic as it appears on Tombstone or Lonesome Dove, at least not the majority of the time.

I do admit to loving Tombstone too. I'm married to a guy who's been said to look like Doc/Val Kilmer, one more reason to love the show. Then there's the fact that there was a Tombstone/Wyatt Earp marathon on the History Channel my husband watched while I was in the hospital having my son. Oh, the memories. I guess you could say Tombstone has had an impact on all that matters in my life.

Anyway, here's a bit of history for you that's not quite history, it's present day. I had no idea jobs and places like this still existed and I grew up in a farming/ranching community. My cowboy, when he was a junior in high school, decided to go live in a sheep camp in the middle of nowhere for a year. Here's what a sheep camp looks like if you're not familiar.

Yep, that's right. He lived in something like that for about a year. There's no running water inside and no electricity. He had a wood stove to cook on and to heat the place and an outside spigot he pumped to give the cattle water and to provide water for his own use. He chopped wood everyday for his heat supply and had a huge metal bowl that he filled from the outdoor spigot he used to wash his dishes in. He home schooled during this time and learned to play the guitar.

He was hired to live out in no-man's-land to keep an eye on the cattle, doctor sick ones and pump the water regularly so they had a water supply. He had no communication with the outside world besides a two-way CB radio. He'd go home on Sundays to see his family, shower and go to church. It was a two hour drive across mostly dirt roads to get to his own family's ranch. His groceries were delivered to him by the people that had hired him. About every two weeks they'd call him on his CB radio and ask what he wanted from the grocery store that would last him the next few weeks. He had to call in on the radio each morning at six a.m. to report that he was still alive and that all was well with the cattle in his charge. Yep, I'm married to this guy in real life. Pretty sexy, huh? He's been a cowboy, a firefighter and is now a pilot. I know, every 'hot' job my guy's done. 'Course the only thing sexy about the wild-land-firefighter and sheep-camp-living cowboy job is he's now done with them, got the sex appeal and now I don't have to live like that, which in the end does make the whole thing pretty cool. The sheep camp experience happened about 12 years ago.

Even though it's been 12 years since that experience was present day these stories still exist. They really do have what they call 'buckaroos' on Nevada ranches. No, buckaroo is not just the slang term for your neighbor's kid when you can't remember their real name, like I always thought. Buckaroos just move around from ranch to ranch, live in the bunkhouses (yep, like the ones in Young Guns with no running water), don't necessarily get showers, eat what the camp cook cooks and usually are paid far less than minimum wage. ($500 a month is not unheard of, but it's OK because they're provided food and lodging . . yea right. Still not OK in my book, but that's just me.) Seriously, this really happens in real life today.

Here's another real life story that happened just last week to show the Old West still exists. My cowboy's little sister is a pretty handy ranch hand. She's a hard worker and knows a lot about cattle. She's quite a catch for you single cowboys out there. You do have to be taller than she is, which is kind of a feet since she's six foot and you'll have to work hard to catch her to be eligible, but all besides the point. Anyway, a family friend who manages a ranch broke his ankle badly (by being run over by a cow) and is on bed rest. His wife is trying to run the ranch which consists of 900 head of cattle by herself. Sis was hired to go work for them and help out. Her living arrangements agreed on at hire were she lived in a tack room (a room in the barn where they keep saddles, bridles etc. which are notorious for rodent problems). The tack room was furnished with a mini fridge, some shelves, a cot, a microwave and a space heater. She had an old fashioned outhouse for toiletries, not even a port-a-john but a hole in the ground with a shack around it. Yes those too still exist. Her water supply for everything from brushing her teeth and washing her dishes to drinking water was the same spigot and outdoor sink used to prepare medicine for sick calves, wash those sick calves' bottles and was out in the elements where who knows what could get in and around that sink. The ranch manager who lives out at this place in a trailer house was kind enough to say she could use their shower if it was necessary. Seriously, this is a 18-year-old girl born and raised in America living like this. Unfortunately (or VERY fortunately depending on your view point) her foray with the Old West came to an end when she came to our home for a hot shower and home cooked meal. We're the closest relatives with indoor plumbing (and we're a 45 minute drive away). Poor girl didn't look great when she got to our place and said she didn't want much for dinner. Shortly after sitting down to the table she became violently ill. She ended up camping out on our couch for 3 days deathly ill with E. Coli which I'm sure was contracted from that icky, cow germ infested sink, her only source of water. I've NEVER seen anyone that sick. All I could think about was how glad I was that she wasn't out in the boondocks with no hot running water that ill. Can you say, 'death-on-a-stick?' Luckily all is well now. She's feeling better and is back at home at her parent's ranch where although she works with cattle daily she gets all the amenities of modern living.

So, if you still think living the Old West Tombstone/Young Guns lifestyle would be the thing to do there are opportunities for you out there. But if you're like me you'll realize the movies are cool, but opt to leave that kind of fun to the movie stars. (And if you're super lucky like me, you'll marry Doc's look alike.)

The Queen, so sad at the thought of relinquishing her throne

Once upon a time there was a girl who had known a good life for most of her life. Not to say there weren't rough spots, but for the most part she'd been pretty lucky and privileged. Upon graduating from college she married her dream cowboy and they settled in a cute little house that had been divided into 3 apartments. The bedroom and the living room were downstairs and the front door, kitchen and bathroom were upstairs. Yes, a little strange, but with her own flair she made it fit her and her husband's new life, despite the bathroom door being between the fridge and the stove. After a little over two years living in the housement (house/apartment/basement) her husband came home one day and said he'd found a new place to live, that it was very nice and right down the road from where he worked and much closer to where she worked. So taking him at his word she said OK and they decided to leave their cute little housement and it's severe no ventilation mold problem and moved on to something that, to her, was sight unseen, but had untold promise according to her husband. (Below is the housement.)

The new place was a single-wide trailer on the corner of a wheat field. Now living in a trailer house was not something she'd ever thought she'd do, but it didn't have tires on the roof, and in fact it was quite a lovely trailer as far as trailers go. It was pretty new and had been completely remodeled so the inside didn't even look like a trailer anymore. Life was good. They had their own place (albeit rented space), their own yard and they didn't have to hear the neighbors play video games all night, flush the toilet or a myriad of other noises no one should have to hear and guess what their neighbors were doing. They were content and she soon gladly accepted the title 'queen of the single-wide trailer'. Plus, they both loved being out of the city and on the corner of a wheat field. Alas, life was too good to last.

After about six weeks of bliss on the corner of the wheat field, the queen returned home from her dream job and there was a gentleman sitting in his car in the driveway. As she got out of her car the gentleman greeted her and said he was from Such-and-Such Bank and that the trailer was being repossessed. Lesson to everyone here is: Do NOT live in anything with wheels that can be towed away. But as this was happening the queen was thinking, 'WHAT? I signed a lease agreement. I pay my rent faithfully, seriously?!' Then she proceeded to explain to the gentlemen that she is merely renting this trailer from Mr. Landlord and shouldn't Mr. Landlord be the one discussing this? The banker informed her that Mr. Landlord does NOT in fact own the trailer, but the bank does. Hmmm. . . well what do you say to that? The queen and her cowboy were given two days to get all their worldly possessions out of home and find a new place to live. It was a sad day when Sea-foam (what the queen had dubbed their home due to it's color) was seen rolling down the road behind a semi, leaving a hole in the fence and tire tracks in the lawn. Again, it is NEVER recommended to live in anything with wheels.

If you've ever been shopping for a rental you know nice ones are hard to come by, especially when you only have two days until you are out on the street living in your car. After a few discussions with Mr. Landlord about the whole fiasco and why it all had happened (something that to this day the queen is not real clear on), Mr. Landlord apologized profusely and offered to let the queen and her cowboy live in his camp trailer while he bought a new single wide trailer to put on the corner of the wheat field. Without much option, the queen and her husband agreed to living in the camp trailer and put all their things in the shed behind their now long gone home and a snowmobile trailer. This camp trailer arrangement was to be only two weeks, but it stretched on and on to about eight weeks. Figuring on the two week time frame, all but two weeks of clothes and very minimal cooking utensils were buried deep within the snowmobile trailer. Now camp trailers do not have much storage space for anything, let alone food, and as mentioned cooking utensils were all but nonexistent so the queen (who cooks and eats relatively nutritiously most of the time) and her husband lived off frozen corn dogs, Ramen and cereal for eight weeks. Her diet in college wasn't even close to being that bad! YUCK!! To add insult to injury while living on corn dogs in a camp trailer whose shower was too small to wash your hair without whacking your funny bone on the wall, the queen wrecked her beloved Mariah, her cute, little, gold Honda Accord car. Life was looking kind of bleak, but THEN . . . Mr. Landlord said he found a 'new' trailer ( notice the qoutes around new) to fill the whole in the fence the trailer house had left behind. (Yes, the queen and her cowboy were living in a camp trailer in the driveway of a yard with a gaping hole in the fence where a trailer house used to stand. Classy! I know!!!) Delighted at the prospect of no more camp trailer nights with the probability of propane running out and freezing to death the queen and her cowboy went to look at the 'new' trailer before it was moved onto the corner of the wheat field. 'New' is in qoutes for a reason. It was nowhere near new - we're talking the stereotypical cat-lady-of-Kansas trailer (and her cowboy actually lived in Kansas for awhile so he really knew what he was talking about). The flooring was beyond disgusting, the cabinets were falling off the walls and the stove had dirty pots in the bottom drawer. Mr. Landlord knowing there was no comparison to the old trailer house explained he couldn't afford to buy a brand new trailer, but he could gut this and fix it up to look just like new. Again without better option, the queen and her cowboy agreed. However, Mr. Landlord had a pretty full schedule and remodeling cat-lady-of-Kansas trailer house wasn't that high on his priority list, even though the queen and her cowboy were freezing their hinnies off every night in the camp trailer.

The queen being the go-getter, take action kind of girl that she is and her husband the hard working, cowboy, handyman went to work and took the project on themselves with the agreement that Mr. Landlord would pay for the materials, appliances and their time. So the queen and her cowboy became the midnight construction crew. After work each night they'd paint, hang new cabinets, put new trim in and so forth until truly it was like new (almost) and livable. After lots of late nights, a hole being drilled in her cowboy's hand and quite a few oopsies they moved in with one bathtub still full of tile supplies, but there was another shower that wasn't made for midgets to use. HALLELUJAH!

It's been four years since that 'blessed' experience and the queen and her cowboy quite love their little home. There was a lot of blood, sweat and tears (literally) poured into that little place, and boy, they sure learned a lot doing it. It was pretty nice to make home improvement mistakes on someone else's dime. Now they know what NOT to do on their own home that they are searching diligently for this instant.

As exciting as moving on is, the queen will be very sad to relinquish her throne. Despite the rocky beginning there are many good memories in the little trailer and she LOVES living on her corner of the wheat field!

(This story is purely fiction and any similarities to persons living or dead are purely coincidental.) OK - just kidding. I'm the queen and this is the story of how I ended up where I am today. Sorry again, didn't have time to think through and formulate an educated, thought provoking, insightful post, so here you have it. :)

Luck or something more?

It seems frivolous and insensitive to me to write about normal life when so many people are suffering. I know there were many suffering people before, but the destruction and devastation I've seen in the last two weeks has brought it to the forefront of my mind. We don't watch TV in our home, partly because it's a huge waste of time and whenever I'm anywhere with TV access I can't find anything worth watching anyway and partly because I'm too dang cheap to pay for cable and even reception of local channels doesn't come in. This makes my family a lot more sheltered than most, but I do think it's important to stay informed and frankly I appreciate the quiet reprieve from the mind numbing barrage of negativity constant TV news brings. All besides the point, but from what I have seen, my heart just breaks for the people in Japan and Libya. I was thinking back on how many HUGE catastrophe's I've seen since I graduated from high school and maybe it's because I've become more aware as I got older, but it still seems like a disproportionate amount compared to the past.

It was the beginning of my high school Senior year when September 11th happened. I remember watching the second tower fall on TV as I ate breakfast. I remember my Dad saying before the 2nd plane hit that he had this sinking feeling that this was not an accident. I remember being hugely unnerved when I saw my hardened, retired, career military grandfather tear up as he spoke about what this could mean for our country. An attack on American soil hadn't happened since Pearl Harbor and this was a much different attack. Then most of the world was already embroiled in a terrible war. Pearl Harbor was a strategic ploy to pull America into it (and not an attack on the mainland). September 11th was a specific target against America's mainland for no other real reason than hatred for western ideology. Obviously there was probably more to it than that, but that's what I remember. I remember going to school and not doing much else besides watching the news unfold on TV. I remember my anger at my Economics teacher for saying that just because this happened didn't mean school should stop and she wouldn't let us watch it. I still think, 'how stupid was that'? It was Economics class for crying out loud. This was the World Trade Center and the financial heart of America we were talking about. Honestly, it's a wonder I love economics after surviving that teacher's disembowelment of such an awesome subject.

Then there was the huge tsunami that killed hundreds of thousands of people in Indonesia and other countries in 2004, Hurricane Katrina in 2005, another tsunami around Indonesia, the earthquake in Haiti, the earthquake in Chile and now what's going on in Japan. Plus the war in Iraq and Afghanistan and the atrocities that were commonplace there as well as in Darfur and Somalia and probably tons of places we don't even know of. Now we watch as the ruler in Libya is gunning down his own people in the streets.

I don't like to dwell on negativity and crisis. It only feeds the problem, but this week I found myself crying a lot out of empathy and sympathy for those in pain around the world and I'm usually not emotional at all. I wondered how I got so lucky. My whole family is still alive. My home is still intact. I went to my sister-in-law's baby shower today without a second thought. Why am I the lucky one? Why am I spared so much pain and heartache when so much of the world has seen so much trauma? Why am I lucky enough to be a third party observer? I definitely don't want it any other way, but seriously, why? Then I thought about even those not affected by war or natural disaster that are struggling with health or family crisis and again wondered how I got so lucky. My family is healthy and happy and I have so many other blessings.

Then a scarier thought came to me. Maybe I'm so lucky and so sheltered so I'll have the resources and skills to be able to help those who aren't as lucky, and I'm not just talking about sending money to the Red Cross or something like that. What if I've been so blessed so I have something to give that can help people get through stuff like this? I don't really know what I can feasibly do right now to help, besides the obvious give money to charity thing but something tells me lucky people like me will be needed in the future even more so than today. I'm not saying I have special talents or gifts or anything. I think this could apply to anyone, but it does make me want to do better in my daily life, in all aspects, now so when the time comes where my resources and talents are needed to help people in a small (or a big) way I'll be ready and able. And yes, I realize helping my friends and neighbors around me today in small ways is just as meaningful, but something inside tells me there may just be more to it than that.

P.S. Please don't take this as a dooms day prophecy from me. I'm not a dooms-dayer. I hate apocalyptic movies and anything that focuses more on destruction rather than hope. As much as I hate to see tragedies happen I am always amazed and inspired by the resiliency and the goodness of humanity that shines in the aftermath. We have many, many good days ahead. I'm just extremely grateful for my faith in Jesus Christ that helps me see that there are many wonderful days ahead through the haze of tragedy.
Every time I speak about Christ I think about my friends who have told me that you truly believe religion is the opiate for the masses and it's naivete. You know I respect your opinions and belief and I always appreciate that you have respected mine even though I know you think I'm crazy in that regard, but I can't, won't and don't believe faith in Jesus Christ is naivete, but even if it was I wonder how I'd get through seeing calamity like this without that faith. That faith is what's going to enable me to have the resources, skills and the presence of mind to help when and where I'm needed.

Just odds and ends.

Sorry, still no expose` on the Federal deficit yet. I know you're SO disappointed, but exciting news!! We actually put an offer in on a house. Yes, we're crazy. It was exactly one week after I started looking at homes with a realtor that we put an offer in. It's a lovely home and a short sale. It makes me very sad for the people who have to sell it and puts a human face on the usually cutthroat realty business, but also means a screaming deal for us (thus the very quick decision to put an offer in). Short sales are apparently kind of complicated (I'm learning tons about the realty biz through this whole process) because not only do the sellers have to accept our offer, but the bank who holds their mortgage does too. The sellers have accepted our offer and we're waiting to hear from the bank. Banks are notoriously slow at letting you know on this stuff so our genius realtor structured our offer so we can keep looking for a home we like better in the meantime and not be out anything if we decide to withdraw our current offer or the bank doesn't accept it. So there you have it. I never thought it would all happen this fast and it's far from a done deal, but still I feel like I need to take a deep breath.

Other odds and ends. A few 'ah-has' I've gleaned over the last two weeks I thought I'd share:

1. When contemplating doing something that I'm just not sure about doing I should ALWAYS go play outside with my doggy before deciding. I always come in with a much clearer and kinder view of the world. Yep. I did something I regret this week, but hopefully all is well.

2. The best way to 'know' Jesus Christ is to actually strive live like Him. I'm always seeking to 'know' Him better and draw closer to Him by reading and learning about His life, but actually living like Him will bring me much closer.
If you didn't know, I'm pretty religious and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (aka a Mormon). To those of you who are also religious this may sound like a no-brainer, but for me it was a good enlightenment. Even though I think I knew it in my head, I just didn't know it in my heart. Also points back to point #1 - another good thing to think about before doing something you're just not sure about is the good old cliche` 'what would Jesus do,' of course. :)

3. Be open to all situations in life. It's only when you're open to everything life has to offer do you really find yourself and your true passion.

4. Make small daily decisions based on the Easter egg hunt 'hot or cold' philosophy. 'Hot' is what you love, bringing you closer to your passion and goals and 'cold' is taking you farther from them. So make HOT decisions, even if they're seemingly tiny decisions.

5. Kind of repetitive of 3 & 4: “Remain open and follow the path as it comes to you. Listen to the things you love. Being present now and living your best in the moment opens the doorway to those greater long term goals.. . You have to stay open and move into that unknown, uncomfortable space and confront your fears.” I LOVE the bold part!

Thoughts 3, 4 and 5 were came from an interview I heard with Jillian Michaels, the Biggest Loser coach. I've never seen the show, but from the interview I heard she's a pretty amazing lady.

6. “Find yourself in the Free Fall of life.” -Mel Robbins

7. I've always had a strong belief in a loving God who really has a hand in our lives and wants to help us if we let him; and I've always kind of thought that He has this exact, perfect, individual plan laid out for each us and everything will go accordingly if we just try to follow His will. I'm not so sure of the exact, individual, perfect plan thing anymore. I'm now leaning toward the idea that the Lord doesn't necessarily have an exact plan laid out for each of our lives (maybe, but not always.) I now think we definitely create our own path. He may nudge us in certain directions and help us make decisions, but we create our own path. He has that much confidence in us. He knows we can and we will do great things by making our own way and asking for His help along that way.

8. “21st Century skills may help pupils become better workers, but learning history makes them better citizens.” (21st Century skills refers to math, science and technology.)
From The Economist, an article on education and how history is not a valued, tested core subject. I'm a history lover so am a little partial, but I really think this is so true.

That's about it for this week. Sorry I waxed a little philosophical and religious there, but I'm becoming more comfortable with this sharing thing as I blog. I haven't convinced myself 'sharing' is altogether a great thing yet, but I'm realizing more how much other people care and want to be part of my life. Typically, I'm a pretty private person and only share my thoughts and life with my close family and my bestest of friends, but I find blogging is opening me up. I originally had intended to just write about opinion, educational, current event type stuff, but am finding myself writing more and more about me, partly because I committed to writing once a week and I just haven't had the time to think through and write a good post on anything else. But maybe this more accessible, personal stuff is a good thing. I still have the privacy/internet paranoia (Yes. I'm crazy. I know.) which is why you'll never see any contact or traceable information or pictures of my family on this blog (unless I make it private or something) but again I'm just more open than I was 3 weeks ago, weird. . .

Great Article

Thought this was very congruent with my earlier political post and figured I'd post it here as well as on Facebook. 'The year of hope 2.0'. http://www.economist.com/node/17493282

I read this awhile ago and was glad to find it again. It's a little more 'dooms dayish' than I usually care for, but I don't disagree and love that it points to the necessity of personal responsibility. I truly think it's the lack of personal responsibility that is behind so much (dare I say ALL the key issues) that plague America. That said, I have to add I'm so grateful to live in America and recognize how blessed I am compared to so much of the world. As cliche` as it sounds: I still believe America is the greatest country on earth.